THE SPY NEXT DOOR
NOTE: This spoiler was written by Sandee.
Early one morning before school, Jillian (Amber Valletta) struggles to get her 3 children ready for school. 13 year old Farren (Madeleine Carroll), hogs the bathroom and wears clothes that mom thinks are too inappropriate, and has to change. Younger brother Ian (Will Shadley) fights with her, and the little sister, Nora (Alina Foley), only wants to wear pink. They drive out of the driveway and see neighbor Bob Ho (Jackie Chan) taking out his garbage, and Jillian forgot to take out their trash, so she stops. She and Bob chat and have a dinner date that night; they area about to kiss, when Jillian realizes the kids are watching, and so they don’t. Back in the car, the 3 kids all bash Bob, saying that he is as dull as his job: a pen salesman.
Bob and Jillian have dinner at a nice restaurant to celebrate their 3 month anniversary. Bob wants to tell her something about his job, but before he can, Jillian tells him that she doesn’t think that they can progress with their relationship since he and her kids don’t get along. Bob wants time to work on it and get the kids to like him. Before she can answer, he gets a phone call and says he has to go because there is an emergency at work.
Bob drives to Far East Pen Distributors, his office. Inside, we see it is really a CIA ops center. He is really a Chinese spy, on loan to the CIA, and is undercover. His boss, Agent Glaze (George Lopez) and partner Colton James (Billy Ray Cyrus) are there, and have information that someone is going to try to sabotage the oil refinery. Bob and Colton go. Once there, Bob fights many bad guys with his karate and prevents them from blowing up the refinery. He catches and arrests the head, a Russian named Poldark (Magnus Scheving). Colton and the rest of the team arrest the rest of the bad Russians. Back at headquarters, he and Colton suspect there may be a mole in the CIA, helping the Russians. Bob bids everyone farewell as that was his last mission and he is retiring. He wants to marry Jillian and lead a normal life.
The next day, Bob helps Nora get her cat off the roof, using his gymnastic-karate skills. Jillian mentions that their satellite TV is out again, so later that evening, Bob uses his spy skills and goes on the roof and repairs it without her knowing. He hears Farren talking; she is out on the roof on the phone. She tells a friend that she thinks Bob is boring, and that someday her dad will come back for her, so she is going to sabotage the relationship between Bob and Jillian.
Colton calls Bob and asks for a favor: even though he is now retired, he wants to email him a file that is encrypted that may give more information about the Russians and why they wanted to blow up one of the refineries. Bob agrees, and is about to work on it when Jillian comes over. Her father is in the hospital, and she is going to Denver to help take care of him. Instead of having her aunt fly in, Bob offers to babysit the kids, and hopes this will give them a chance to bond. Jillian agrees. While he is packing a few things, the 3 kids go snooping in his house. Ian sees a cool concert file, Stockholm GBH, in Bob’s computer, which is really the file from the CIA, and downloads it to his iPod without Bob knowing. Jillian leaves and Bob tries to run Jillian’s house.
The kids fight, light a stink bomb and won’t go to bed. Bob is overwhelmed, but won’t give up. He tries to make breakfast, which is a disaster. He drives the kids to school and is left with Nora, as she is just 4 and not in school. They go to the mall to shop for her Halloween costume. She wants to be a princess, and Bob finds a costume for her. She wanders off and Bob panics when he can’t find her. Frantically searching the store, she is not there and he sees her going down the mall escalator. To get to her quickly, Bob leaps off the mall balcony, grabs a large hanging decoration, and soars down to Nora. He tells her not to wander off again, and hugs her.
With the help of the mole, the Russians escape and make it back to their hideout. Tatiana helps Poldark demonstrate their plan: they have a vial of a growth bacteria hybrid that consumes oil. They plan to use it on the world’s oil refineries, making Russian oil the only source available.
Ian tried to play the download for some tough older kids at school, hoping to impress them, but all they heard was loud static. Angered, they give Ian a wedgie and put him in a trashcan. He ends up in the principal’s office, and Bob is called to meet with her. Afterwards, he and Ian talk, and he asks Ian why he gets in trouble and lies so much. Ian replies that he is really into astrophysics, but kids don’t like that, so he lies to make friends and get girls. Bob makes a deal with Ian, where he won’t tell Jillian about the trouble at school if he agrees to stop lying so much. He also gives Ian some tips on dressing a little bit cooler for school.
After the kids are in bed, Bob calls Colton and asks him for help. When he arrives, he gives Bob a case full of spy gear; Bob says he needs it to take care of the kids. He installs some surveillance cameras in the vents of the house. He has a remote control on the bathroom door, so when Farren takes too long getting ready before school he blasts the door open so Ian can have a turn. He puts a GPS on Nora, so she can’t wander off again. Farren locks him out of the house-he uses his spy-suspenders to winch himself up to the roof. His metal detector catches Ian trying to sneak soda upstairs. To put Nora to bed before she can run away, he uses a retractable cable and catches her. He hears Farren on the roof again, and joins her. They talk and she tells him about her dad, and that Jillian is her step mom, which is why she calls her Jillian, and not “Mom”. Bob tells Farren that he was an orphan and had lots of other orphans that he considered his family. He tells her that it isn’t blood that makes a family, but that a family is the people who love you and that you love. They stay outside together.
Things go smoother in the morning. Ian is dressed like Bob suggested, and on his way into school a girl compliments him. He smiles, and turns to Bob and gives him thumbs up sign.
Russian spy Tatiana discovers that the formula was downloaded, and does a search and finds the address: Bob’s house. The Russian spies go there and trash his house while looking for the file. They see Bob outside and go to get the file. The 4 bad guys attack Bob, and he fights them off again with his karate skills and clever moves. He grabs Nora and they go pick up Farren and Ian at school. He explains to all 3 kids that he really isn’t a pen salesman, but a Chinese spy working with the CIA. He calls Colton for help at the CIA headquarters. Bob takes the kids to a Chinese restaurant for lunch, and to think and strategize. Farren meets a cute college boy named Larry and is flirting with him. Bob takes the kids inside, away from Larry. The restaurant is like a Benihana, where the chefs cook in front of the patrons. Larry is seated at their table, which angers Bob. He asks Larry about school, and catches him with knowledge of Russian. Larry is a Russian spy, and he and Bob fight in the restaurant. Bob ends up pushing Larry out the window, and while he is unconscious, they leave. They bump into Agent Glaze. Bob is confused as to why Glaze came alone. Glaze asks Bob for the downloaded file, but Bob tells him he never got a chance to download it. Glaze says he knows he downloaded it, and then Bob realizes that Glaze is the mole, the double agent. They escape, and drive away. Bob thinks that Glaze found him through a homing device in this watch, so he stops and leaves it under a rock in the desert. He drives far, to a hotel where he and the kids will be safe. They call Jillian, and he tells her the truth about being a spy. She doesn’t believe him, but he tells her it’s true, and for the kids’ safety, she needs to come and get them. Frightened, she leaves immediately for the airport.
In the morning, she arrives, and Bob apologizes. She slaps him and is furious that he put her kids in danger. She takes the kids and leaves. Bob stops on his way out and gets his watch from the desert. He has a plan...
Once home, it is Halloween, and Jillian is downstairs preparing. Ian puts on all black clothes, and writes a note that he is running away and wants to be a spy like Bob. He heads out on his bike, following the signal from Bob’s watch. Farren sees him leave, and follows. Bob places the watch on a chair in an abandoned warehouse and starts to make a trap, when Ian arrives. He wants Ian to leave, but it is too latethe Russians arrive. Farren also shows up-Larry caught her. The Russians tie all 3 of them up, and threaten them. Ian tells them the downloaded file they want is in his iPod at home on his desk. Bob uses his spy ring to cut through their ropes and fights the Russians. They are all knocked unconscious, and Bob grabs the kids, takes their car and hurries to warn Jillian and Nora.
Bob calls Colton for help. To prove that Glaze is bad, he has Ian play the video recording on his phone he made of Glaze threatening them. Colton says he is coming. Before they can grab Jillian and Nora and escape, the Russians and Glaze arrive. They have a big fight in the house, and the kids help, using Bob’s spy gear. Farren drops a TV on Larry’s head. And Jillian comes from behind and hits Glaze hard in the head with a gallon jug of bleach, knocking him unconscious. Colton and his team arrive, and arrest them.
Bob apologizes to Jillian and the kids, for putting them through all of this. Jillian still wants nothing to do with him. As he leaves, Farren runs to him and hugs him, and doesn’t want him to leave. She tells Jillian that he lied, but it wasn’t his fault, and says that we all make mistakes and can’t she forgive him? And then she calls her “Mom”. Ian joins Farren, hugs Bob and agrees. Nora looks to her mom and says, “I want Bob to be my daddy”. Jillian smiles.
Bob and Jillian are getting married, and at the altar during the ceremony, Bob leans over and whispers to Jillian that Bob isn’t his real name. She laughs, says it’s ok, and they are pronounced man and wife.