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LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN

movie trailer (apple.com - quicktime)

NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by catleft who says... "I really liked this movie, and I didn't find the special effects cheesy.

The movie opens up in London in 1899 as a tank breaks in the Bank of England. A mysterious man in a steel mask, known as the Phantom, gets out and orders his henchmen (who speak German) to kill the guards except one. The Mysterious Man then gets some plans out of a vault while his men get the gold. The newspapers blame the German government. Then we see the mysterious man in a German factory, full of hydrogen-filled zeppelins, kidnapping scientists. He sets the factory on fire by blowing up a zeppelin. The German government blames the English, and war seems imminent.

An Englishman arrives in Kenya, looking for Alan Quatermain (Sean Connery), who served England several times already. Quatermain, who is about 70, is reluctant to help out this time (so many friends and relatives are gone due to his adventures) but some thugs come in trying to kill him. They are wearing armor chest plates, and have “repeating rifles”. Quatermain kills 3 of them, and one runs away. He gets his rifle (Matilda) and puts on his glasses and shots the running man (who is 500 feet away). They walk out to the shot man to question him, but he chews a capsule and dies. Inside the club house that Quatermain was in, a bomb goes off, that was in a suitcase one of the thugs carried in. Quatermain decides to serve England, and takes a last glance of the cemetery, where there is a grave for “Quatermain”.

They arrive in rainy London July 1899. Quatermain enters a room with many portraits of groups of different men, from different ages. He meets M (Richard Roxburgh), who tells him there was always a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen who served England. Quatermain is introduced to Captain Nemo (Naseeruddin Shah), from India (Quatermain says he is known as a pirate), and the Invisible Man, Mr. Skinner (Tony Curran) (who had stolen the formula of invisibility from the original Invisible Man). Mr. Skinner puts on a coat and coats his face with white cream, so the group can “see” him. He says that he is in the League since he was promised a way to make him visible again. Quatermain doesn’t like the playful Skinner. A lady walks in, Mrs. Harker, also known as Mina (Pita Wilson). Quatermain doesn’t want her in the League. He tells her latter he finds women in his adventures, at best, are a distraction. M tells them that there will be a peace summit of European leaders in Venice, and the Phantom wants to stop it. They believe the Phantom wants to make money off the up coming war, which no doubt will be caused by killing the delegates at the summit.

They take Nemo’s auto-mobile, a novelty for the group (and here we have the chauffeur introduce himself, “call me Ishmael”), to Dorian Gray’s home. Gray (Stuart Townsend) says he doesn’t want to be in the League, but he recognizes Nina and invites them in. Quatermain tells the rest of the group that he met the young looking Gray in college. Gray was a visiting professor and Quatermain was a young man. Some disguised thugs break in and point the repeating rifles at the group. The Phantom appears, tells them he can’t have them spoil his plans. Quatermain notices one of the thugs, who winks at him. Then the winking thug takes out several of the other thugs, and in the ensuing fight, runs after the Phantom, his six-shooters blazing. One of the thugs, the Phantom’s right-hand man, calls the Phantom “James”. The Phantom dives into the harbor. Quatermain pretty much uses his fists to fight the thugs. Mina Harker is pushed into hiding, and Nemo is using his sword to dispatch the thugs. At one point one thug empties his gun into Gray, but he doesn’t fall and his injuries heal up. The winking thug turns out to be Special Agent Sawyer (Shane West), from the United States. The U.S. is afraid if there is a war in Europe, it will spread across the Atlantic. Quatermain allows him in the League when Sawyer presents him with a Winchester Rifle. They think there are no more thugs, but one thug captures Mina, and holds a knife on her. Mina, though, doesn’t need the men to save her; she turns around and savagely attacks the man, sucking his blood. Her face is covered with blood as the gentlemen, surprised, watch her ravages the man. Things are a bit awkward. She mentions her husband and Van Helsing encounter with a Transylvanian count, and that a vampire, Dracula, bit her.

The League then takes the astonishing Nautilus, (which Nemo explains will take them over and under the water) to Paris, to capture Mr. Hyde (Jason Flemyng). As Quatermain and Sawyer chase him, Quatermain scolds Sawyer, saying that Americans shot their guns without aiming. They get an enraged Hyde on the Nautilus, and Gray scratches Skinner when pushing him away from Hyde. Mr. Hyde calms down and tries to flirt with Mina. Quartermain tells him in exchange for his help he is allowed back in England. Hyde then transforms to his normal self, Dr. Jekyll.

They sail toward Venice. On the way, Quatermain compliments Nemo, and apologizes for being rude. He tells Nemo that he saved a village in Africa. The chief told him Africa will never let him die. Quatermain also mentions how tigers, when they old and about to die, go out fighting. The group decides that the Phantom is going to blow up Venice; the plans he stole from the bank of England are plans of Venice Michelangelo designed. And Sawyer, Skinner, and Gray are smitten by Mina.

Mina is a chemist, and is testing a residue that Nemo found on the bridge. She finds out that it is from a camera flash. Gray is with her and offers her a drink. She accidentally crushes the glass and cuts herself, and seems aroused by her blood. Gray wipes the blood with his handkerchief and they start to kiss. Dr. Jekyll sees this, and Mr. Hyde taunts him to let him out, since Mr. Hyde can get Mina. Dr. Jekyll goes for one of the vials that has the serum to make him into Hyde, but notices one of the vials are missing. He tells this to Nemo and Quatermain, blaming Skinner. Latter, Quatermain tries to teach Sawyer how to shoot. The secret is to know to take your time to aim. Sawyer finds out about Quatermain’s dead son.

They arrive in Venice, and try to find the bombs they believe are planted under the city. But they are too late; the bombs go off, and buildings are falling like dominos. Sawyer, Quatermain. Mina, and Grey get in the auto-mobile, but Dr. Jekyll is afraid of Mr. Hyde coming out, and doesn’t want to go with them. The plan is to drive to a point where the buildings are still up; Nemo will fire a missile at that point to flatten those buildings, so the falling buildings won’t have anything else to topple, and the destruction will stop. Thugs are chasing them, so Grey jumps out of the car. There are more thugs and Mina becomes a colony of bats, to take out those thugs. Quatermain sees the Phantom and jumps out. Sawyer drives to a point where no buildings have yet toppled and fires the flare. Nemo aims the missile to that point and fires. Quatermain encounters the Phantom in a cemetery. The Phantom taunts Quatermain about Quatermain son’s death, that Quatermain didn’t prepare his son. Quatermain unmasks the Phantom, who is M. M escapes, and Quatermain returns to the Nautilus.

Gray has returned to the Nautilus first, and shoots one of the sailors. When everyone else arrives, the dying sailor says it’s Gray, not Skinner who is the spy. Then they see Gray escaping in one of the Nautilus’s escape pods. Everyone gets aboard the Nautilus, and a tracking device is telling them where Gray is heading. Gray left behind a record, and dropping the needle on the record the group hears M and Gray. There is no real League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, M tells them. It was just a ruse for Gray (M is holding Grey’s picture to get Gray’s co-operation) to get Mina’s blood, a skin sample of the Invisible Man, a vial of Dr. Jekyll’s formula, and pictures of the Nautilus. Bombs on the ship go off, putting a hole in the ship and flooding sections of the ship. Nemo orders those sections to be sealed, which will trap crew members. Dr. Jekyll jumps into a flooding compartment, and turns into Mr. Hyde. He swims underwater, and turns a lever that buoy’s up the ship to the surface, saving everybody. Problem is that the tracking device is broken. The group repairs the ship, and they receive a Morse code message from Skinner. Skinner knew they would blame him, so he snuck on board the escape pod with Gray and M, and will keep them updated.

The League follows the villains to frozen Mongolia, and wait for Skinner. While waiting outside in the snow for Skinner, Quatermain sees a white tiger that goes away. Nemo mentions that it might be time for the tiger to die. Skinner arrives (giving a pat on Mina’s bottom) , and tells them in the fortress they are making several Nautili, and M is holding the German scientists and their families captive. The scientists have to reproduce the Invisible Man and Dr. Jekylls’ formulas and Mina’s blood, to be used to make armies of Invisible men, Mr. Hydes, and vampires. Skinner volunteers to blow up the factory, while Nemo and Mr. Hyde rescues the captives. Quatermain and Sawyer will go after M and Mina will take care of Gray.

Skinner sets the bombs. Nemo and Mr. Hyde go for the captives. M’s right hand man drinks A LOT of the Dr. Jekyll formula the German scientists made, and is 5 times the size of Mr. Hyde. The right-hand man is beating the crap out of Mr. Hyde but Hyde at times gets an upper hand. Nemo cuts at the giant right-hand man, but doesn’t seem to do much. Hyde returns to his normal size, and they both hide in a small room. The right-hand man can’t get all the way in but his hand fit in and is about to stab the two men….

Same time, Quartermain and Sawyer are looking for M. They encounter an invisible man, and as Quatermain continues on, Sawyer thinks he is talking to Skinner, but it’s not Skinner. They fight, with Sawyer shooting his six-guns without really aiming and not hitting the invisible man. Finally he beats him off but a man with a flame thrower is now after him. Skinner shows up and ruptures the flame throwers tank a bit. Sawyer ruptures the tank more and the flamethrower is engulfed in his flames. The invisible thug though takes Sawyer prisoner….

Gray is in his room; M gave him back his portrait, and asked him to join him, but Gray refused. Mina appears behind Gray. She told him he broke her heart. They start to fight, Gray with a sword and Mina with a dagger, and as they cut each other the wounds heal; this fight might last all night. Mina hits him in the balls, and as Gray is doubled over, she notices his wrapped portrait. While she is distracted, Gray stabs her in the heart with his sword. She falls on his bed, and Gray says he nailed her twice, once literally. He goes to her body, and tells her she is beautiful, and pulls out the sword. (If this was a slasher movie, no doubt the audience would start screaming “don’t do that, you idiot!). Well, she rises from the bed and grabs hold of his sword, “thank you,” she says and sticks him to the wall with the sword. He comically tries to get himself down, but as he struggles she unwraps the portrait. He gazes at his moldy, decrepit self in the portrait, and starts to age rapidly, as the portraits gets younger and a surprised Mina sees Gray dissolves gruesomely.

Quatermain catches M in his chamber, and reveals that M is really Professor James Moriarity. They fight but Quatermain gets the upper hand and is about to kill him with an ax when the bombs go off…

As the bomb goes off, the giant right-hand man is crushed by falling walls. Quatermain loses his advantage over Moriarity, but aims a gun at him. Then Quartermain realizes Sawyer is behind him, held hostage by an invisible thug. Quartermain turns around and shoots the thug dead, but Moriarity plunges a knife in his back, and escapes through a crevice in the wall. Quatermain is alive, but his glasses are broken; he tells Sawyer to shoot Moriarity. Quatermain reminds him he has all the time in the world to kill Moriarity, so take his time, aim. Sawyer kills Moriarity, and the case Moriarty carries with the formulas/samples Gray stole falls into the water, and sinks. Quartermain dies.

Back in Kenya, a tribesman dances in a ritual and we see Quartermain is buried next to his son. Nemo suggests they should stay a team together, and the rest of the League members decide to keep up the League. Mina agrees, says they hid for so long,. Sawyer leaves a Winchester Rifle on the grave. They leave and the dancing tribesman goes to Quartermain’s grave, and grabs some dirt and lets it go. The sky becomes dark, and it is stormy, and the dirt on Quartermain’s grave starts shaking, and…

The End

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