A file is opened for Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson); 5 years ago he was a top agent in MI7 but he was disgraced after a tragic incident in Mozambique. A pair of men discusses whether he is right for the job; he is needed because the contact will only work with him. He is currently dismissed from MI7, but one of the men asks about his current whereabouts.
Buddhist monks are shown training in martial arts; English is among them yet he is facing the opposite of the others after they are done. He is in the mountains of Tibet seeking a new life and new meaning. English is shown being used as a battering ram by a number of monks, he then sees a man kick a monk in the nuts a number of times, but he does not flinch. English looks skeptical that he could ever do that. English is pulling a rock with a rope attached between his legs; he is then shown walking across hot coals. He suddenly losses concentration and reacts to the intense heat. He spars with a monk in front of a large gong. The monk does a few Kung Fu moves, but notices English is not there. He is suddenly hit on the head by English with the gongs mallet. He pulls a larger stone, this time he succeeds in making it to the finish line. English asks his Master what is his destiny. The Master uses a high tech computer to inform him that MI7 wants him on a flight to London. English asks if he is ready. His Master says no.
Title Sequence- James Bond Style opening
English arrives in London; British Intelligence HQ is shown to be owned by Toshiba with the slogan “Spying for you”. English approaches a receptionist and gives her his name. He meets Pamela (Gillian Anderson) who is the head of MI7, aka Pegasus, and looks for a seat, but it is occupied with a small cat. Pegasus mentions Mozambique, and he gets a nervous twitch. She tells him that she does not want him back as he is old fashioned and a disgrace. He accidently knocks her cat out of the window and thinks it may have fallen into a wood chipper. He pretends to caress the cat facing away from her; a lady walks in with the cat making him look like an idiot. Her name is Kate Summers (Rosamund Pike), and she is a behavioral psychologist who will assist him on his mission. As she leaves he sits down on a black ball chair and falls over. Pegasus tells English that an ex-CIA agent named Titus Fisher has contacted MI7 about a plot to assassinate the Chinese Premier at a significant Anglo-Chinese conference the next week. She tells him that he is to work with Agent 1 on this important mission.
His name is Simon Ambrose (Dominic West); it has been 5 years since they last worked together in Mozambique. They walk into the “toy cabinet”, filled with spy gear and weapons being tested. He sees a cell phone being used to explode another phone; he tells the technician he will give him his number later. They approach a man in a wheelchair. His name is Patch Quartermain (Tim McInnerny), and he is going to brief English on his tools for the mission. He appears to have several prosthetic devices as a result of failed experiments. Quartermain boasts his wheelchair can do 60 mph and is equipped with a hidden pistol. English walks past a laptop. He pushes a button that results in the CDROM being ejected, cutting the head off a mannequin. English is then shown a Rolls Royce Specter, the “Rolls Royce of automobiles” he says proudly. It is armor plated, equipped with voice command and built for English’s use only. He is then shown a table with his spy tools including explosive chewing gum and a digital camera that fires a dart at a mannequin as well as an unfortunate technician. Pegasus walks in to tell English he will travel to Hong Kong to meet Agent Fisher to find out what he knows. English is introduced to Agent Tucker (Daniel Kaluuya) who will accompany him on his mission; Pegasus tells English that he made a laughing stock of their agency after the Mozambique fiasco. English swallows a lozenge that changes his voice to sound female. Pegasus walks out disgusted by his unintended mocking comments; a technician then asks about the whereabouts of the voice changing lozenges. English makes some weird noises trying to disguise the female sound of his voice.
English flies to Hong Kong and travels to The Grand Lissoa Casino in Macau. Tucker is reluctant to enter because he is still underage, but English tells him that he is an agent in the secret service on official business. They walk past a white haired Chinese lady who looks at them menacingly. He gets $10,000 in chips. Tucker follows asking for a receipt. They are to meet a Chinese man in spectacles who will give them the location of Fisher. There is a pair of men in spectacles but English centers on the wrong one at a gaming table giving him signals that make him appear gay. The correct man gives him the code phrase; he does not realize it is him and mentions she is dead. He is suddenly murdered by a passing Chinese man; English finds a poker chip with a hotel number written on it. He goes up to the room while Tucker speaks to his mom on the phone not noticing the Chinese lady from earlier. Fisher tells him about a group of top assassins planning to murder the Chinese premiere, he shows him a unique key that must be matched to 2 others. The assassin assembles a rifle as he speaks. English is skeptical of him, and the company named Vortex, but catches his attention when he hears that Vortex was in Mozambique. English twitches when he hears Fisher mention Mozambique. Tucker sees the cleaning lady assassin but is too late as she kills Fisher; the lady picks up the shell casing as English walks past her. She then maces him when he notices the shell casing in her vacuum reservoir. He sees a man taking the key and chases him. The man uses cat like reflexes to escape past both agents. They go to the roof, and he chases him. He has a flashback to his Buddhist training. The man uses acrobatic moves to try and escape, but English seems to follow him rather easily. English pulls a gun on him when he is cornered. He throws up the key to distract English, and then jumps from the building after catching it. English then sees him climb down the bamboo scaffolding. English walks to an elevator and waits patiently as it takes him down to street level. The man gets to the bottom and is met by English as the chase continues through streets, alleys and a pier. The man finds a rubber motor boat and sails off. English walks on board a yacht and tells the owners he needs to use it on behalf of the crown. They happily agree. The man notices he is being chased. The yachts owner offers English a drink as the rest of the party is excited by the chase; English uses the digital camera to fire a dart into the rubber boat. English and the man fight on a deck near the shore; English speaks to him in Chinese but says something incorrect. They are joined by a small group of his cohorts who surround English. English is able to fend them off one attacker at a time; Tucker steps in to assist but is knocked out quickly. The man is taken out when English steps on a plank that hits the man in the nuts. He then takes the key and is applauded by the yacht’s occupants. As they fly out of Hong Kong, he tells Tucker that he needs to learn to live, and enjoy the end of a successful mission. A stewardess is attacked by a man who puts on her uniform. English picks up a case with the key and tells Tucker about what happened in Mozambique. He has a quick flashback showing a red-headed woman who seduced him as the President was shot by his security chief. The steward offers to put the case away, but Tucker notices the ladies nametag Susan on his uniform, English insists his name must be the Chinese name Xoo-San. English thanks him by name not realizing that he has just stolen the key from him.
English meets with Pegasus, Kate and the Foreign Secretary, he tells them that there is an assassination plot in the works being masterminded by a group called Vortex. He is surprised that the key is not in the case and looks like a fool in front of the group. He then realizes the steward was indeed not a Xoo-San. The fake steward gives the key to Simon Ambrose’s right hand man Slater; he then mentions to the Chinese cleaning lady she has work to do. A group of kids come into the meeting room dressed in costumes; Pegasus apologizes to the foreign secretary as English is embarrassed by his mistake. He notices a vacuum cleaner but mistakes Pegasus’s mom for the Chinese cleaning lady assassin. English apologizes to Pegasus, but she tells him that he needs to apologize to her mom. He goes to the kitchen and apologizes, but it is the lady assassin, she throws knives at him. Tucker and English give chase, but English once again mistakes Pegasus’s mother for the assassin hired by Vortex. English tells her that Vortex was responsible for the Mozambique fiasco, but she is tired of his mistakes and blames him for the death of the Mozambique President Chambal. Kate comforts English and tells him that she believes him and that Vortex is indeed responsible for the Mozambique assassination.
Back at HQ she shows him a camera that can detect lies; to prove it works she shows him a bizarre reaction he seems to suffer when the word Mozambique is said. She hypnotizes him hoping to find details he might have missed, while under he begins to describe her best traits yet he feels she is out of his league. She tells him to go back to Mozambique. He flashes back to the day, and he sees a redhead lady who seduces him to lead him away from President Chambal. They then share a hot tub while the President is assassinated by his head of security. He then recalls walking past the 3 members of Vortex including a Russian agent named Karlenko.
Tucker sets up a golf match with this agent at an exclusive country club. English uses the alias name Peter Adams; he then meets with Karlenko who admires the car he arrived in. English accidently activates the cars AI “Royce” as it follows them until he shuts it down. English tells Tucker he is confident he will win the match but mistakenly calls the club a bat showing his lack of golfing expertise. The cleaning lady assassin is on the course and follows the group. English asks about the Russians business interests as his golf swing is shown to hit a person nearby. English keeps mentioning a friend named Fisher and the key causing Karlenko to signal his bodyguard to shoot English. The assassin pulls out a rifle and aims for English but then switches to the Russian killing his bodyguard and then hitting Karlenko. They see the cleaning lady assassin and give chase in the Russian’s helicopter; English assures Tucker he knows how to fly but swerves and cuts the tops off a series of tall hedges. The cleaning lady assassin has a Gatling gun in her golf bag and fires that the helicopter. Tucker calls for a hospital to help the Russian, but their radio is out. They fly the helicopter near the highway to get a location and follow the road to look for the hospital. Tucker begins to sing to the injured man and is joined by English. The helicopter lands on an ambulance as it drives to the nearest hospital. English finds the 2nd key in his possession yet before he dies he tells English that Vortex is made up of a CIA, KGB and MI7 mole. English is shocked to learn that a vole exists inside MI7. Tucker corrects him by saying, mole exists in MI7.
Sara shows her lie detection gear to the Foreign Secretary. English sits down and asks when the Prime Minister will join, not realizing the man who is speaking next to him is the Prime Minister. Pegasus is not amused as the rest of the group shows their embarrassment. English is fiddling with his chair; first sinking then rising up as the group discusses the Anglo-Chinese conference and concerns for safety. Ambrose recommends a Swiss mountain top facility called the Bastille that is secure and difficult to breach. The Prime Minister asks about the status of Vortex. English mentions that Vortex is made up of three men. The other two were killed by the 3rd member, and that he will need 24 hours. Meanwhile, his chair sinks well below the rest of the group.
English and Ambrose are enjoying dinner, they both hit on the attractive waitress. English shows him the key and tells him that both men were killed and that the 3rd key is in the possession of a mole MI7 agent, Ambrose pulls out a gun under the table and is about to shoot him when English reveals he has no clue who it may be. Ambrose laughs as he tells English he thought he was suspected by him of the traitor. English gets a text message and takes the key as Ambrose holsters his gun. English meets with Tucker in the bathroom. He tells English that Simon Ambrose is the mole, but English does not believe him since he attended Eton. Ambrose walks in and Tucker pulls a gun on him and questions him with incriminating evidence of him in Mozambique with Kalenko. Another man walks in to use the facilities and the 3 men act normal, after he leaves Tucker resumes his interrogation but English is taking a pee. Ambrose reveals he was indeed in Mozambique and that he is in a secret division of MI7 called Armitage, faking its existence after seeing it on a urinal in the hope he can trick both Tucker and English. English tells Tucker to go home as he does not believe that Ambrose is the mole. English walks out with Ambrose who tricks English into thinking that Patch Quartermain is the traitor and is trying to discredit him. He then asks for the key from English as he leaves. Ambrose is approached by the redhead from Mozambique and his man Slater who assembles the 3 parts; he then makes a call to Pegasus accusing English of being the mole.
English meets with Quartermain in a church accusing him of being the mole yet Quartermain tells him that they know he is the true mole. English escapes but is hit in the leg as he tries to evade snipers. He is followed by Quartermain who sees a trail of blood. English takes his wheelchair at gunpoint and uses it to escape the church. He is chased by the MI7 guards; the wheelchair is quiet fast as he steals a helmet and sets the speed to a higher setting. He manages to elude his pursers but sees an imposing set of stairs, he then goes to the elevator and chases off a group of older wheelchair bound people with the onboard gun and a sneer. He is crossing a street but notices a group of cars and motorcycles waiting for him. Another chase ensues. He is able to outrun them and uses the chair's ZZZZ button to lower himself to travel under a truck used as a roadblock.
Kate is startled by English. He begs her to help him prove his innocence. Ambrose goes to a bank and opens a safe deposit box with the key and holds up a clear vial. He speaks to a Chinese man about the assassination attempt, and says that it will be the same as it was in Mozambique. The redhead lady gives him a card, and he asks for 500 million US dollars. English wakes up without his pants on. Kate patched up his leg injury, and he fusses trying to get dressed, as she tells him that she must leave to attend the conference in Switzerland. He is fussing with his pants as she speaks and he appears to have put his pants on backwards. She then tells him about something she noticed in the Mozambique assassination footage. The autopsy of the killer mentions he died of a heart attack but she notices he had some spasms prior to the hit. She states that Vortex may have developed a mind control drug called Timoxeline Barbebutenol. The CIA ordered its destruction, but the drug was smuggled out by Titus Fisher. Kate and English have dinner, and he admits he is envious of Ambrose; yet Kate admires him and appears to be in love with him. He notices her obvious feelings toward him and as he slowly works his way to kiss they are interrupted by the doorbell. Ambrose is at the door and tells Kate that he ready to take her to the airport. He asks if she is alone, and she says she is working on the case. He is tracking down English’s whereabouts as Johnny hides in her apartment. He then remembers that it was Ambrose he saw in Mozambique; Ambrose looks back and gives a signal to English knowing he is in Kate’s apartment. The cleaning lady assassin is in the apartment and English escapes down the trash chute. English goes to Tuckers flat and tells him that he now believes him but Tucker is angry that he got suspended by MI7. English tells him that Simon Ambrose is in Switzerland and that their country needs both of them. Tucker and English sneak into MI7 HQ, and he is able to get Royce to cut its way out of the garage with its hood ornament laser. As they race outside the city, a camera snaps a pic of the speeding car, but it is able to evade the ticket camera.
The duo arrives at a snowy mountain and sees the Bastille atop the peak. There appears to be only one way to reach it via cable car. He opens a briefcase with his spy tools and Tucker mentions the T2 umbrella inside but is corrected by English who says it is the D7 bullet shield. They are able to sneak into the compound and evade the guards. Tucker is excited to be on this mission as English tells him that they need to proceed but mistakenly activates an SOS device that alerts the guards to their presence. English says to himself that he does not want to be killed by the Swiss. He tells Tucker that he needs to hit him and pretend he captured him, instead he shoots English and they put him in a body bag. The guards take Tucker and the body bag up the cable car. Ambrose tells Pegasus of the numerous safety features, while his assistant, Slater, poisons her drink. Tucker is met by guards who asks for his ID, English attacks from inside the body bag and is able to hop away in a comical manner. English bumbles his way into Pegasus’s room and interrupts her before she can drink the poison. She throws an object at him as Ambrose enters; English tells her that Ambrose is the traitor. English picks up the glass and confronts Ambrose about how he was going to poison her not realizing that the drink he is consuming is the poison. He begins to react comically as his body spasms from the poisons effects. Ambrose tells Pegasus that the poison will kill him but before that it will make him their slave. As he is explaining this to Pegasus, English is behaving erratically, and he bumps into the wall and spasms in a comical manner. Once the poison takes effect, Ambrose tells English to silence her. He tells her to duck, and then knocks her out with a punch. Ambrose then tells Slater that he is ready for the job. English looks at Slater and says, “Ready”.
Ambrose tells Kate that English is ok and that he is back in service. Tucker is confronted by the redhead who pulls a knife on him. English walks into the meeting and sits next to the Prime Minister as he speaks to the Chinese Premier. English tells the Chinese delegation that he knows the Chinese people have always viewed the English as completely horrible in an apparent gaffe. He then is corrected by Ambrose. Tucker is led to a room by the redhead; there is a fruit basket next to him. She has the gun pointed at him but turns off light and when it comes back on she is pointing a banana at him and he has her gun. He then smiles at her with a grape in his mouth. Ambrose gives him instructions and orders him to pull out the secret gun from his pocket; it is shaped to look like a lipstick tube as Slater reminds him that it was made for Pegasus. Ambrose orders him to use it. As English puts on the lipstick, he is told to open the barrel and prepare it for use. He points it at the Chinese Premier, but his Buddhist teachings step in, and he is able to disrupt the assignation attempt by using his left half to fight the right half of his body. Kate advises Tucker to find the frequency that Ambrose is using to speak to English, and jam it. He is able to find it and plays some dance music causing English to start dancing. Ambrose orders English to shoot the Chinese leader, but he is heard by all and revealed as the traitor. Ambrose escapes but English collapses and appears to be dying, EMT’s try to recover him but fail. Kate goes to him and kisses him. His Master’s voice is heard, and he is told that he can be reborn. He says to Kate “almost there”, she smiles and kisses him again. Tucker welcomes him back and is met by his boss, Pegasus. He then asks about Ambrose's whereabouts. English puts on a parachute and jumps from an outside ledge. His chute opens with a message, “Spying for you”. English lands on a snowmobile and follows Ambrose in the cable car. Ambrose sees English jump from a cliff and sees the snowmobile crashed, but English has managed to latch onto the cable car. They fight. English is able to disarm him, yet English gets tangled by a hand strap. Ambrose kicks English in the nuts, but it has no effect. English seems unaffected and knocks Ambrose to the ground kicking him in the nuts. English manages to screw up by falling out of the cable car. Ambrose shoots at him, English pulls out his umbrella thinking it is the bullet proof shield but Kate and Tucker state he has the T2 as bullets cut through it. He then closes it causing a missile to launch that destroys the cable car. English is relieved that Tucker gave him the T2 missile launcher instead of the D7 bullet proof umbrella.
English is about to meet the Queen to be awarded a knighthood; he kneels as the sword taps both his shoulders, but it is the Chinese cleaning lady assassin. He evades her, but she is able to escape. He then sees her, but it is the Queen, and he proceeds to attack her in front of Pegasus and Kate. He is shocked to learn it is the Queen, but the guards arrive with the cleaning lady in custody.
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