AUSTIN POWERS In GOLDMEMBER
movie trailer (apple.com - quicktime)
NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by DeanM1216 who says... "Laugh out loud funny, it'll keep your sides hurting long after you've left the theater."
The movie begins as we see Austin Powers parachuting to his shaguar, in a Mission Impossible type way. He lands in his car, being pursued by a helicopter while being helped by a motorcycle with an unknown rider. His face is not seen. He jumps from his car to shoot the helicopter. As everything blows up, we pan up on Austin, who is really... Tom Cruise. It lists his name in credits form. Next, the girl on the motorcycle is Gwyneth Paltrow playing Dixie Normous. Then, they are busted up by Dr. Evil, played by Kevin Spacey, and Minime, played by Danny DeVito. It turns out to be a movie directed by Spielberg on Austin Powers' life, called "Austinpussy". An argument between Powers (Mike Myers) and Spielberg starts the opening credits, which includes a West Side Story like cameo of Britney Spears. Spears turns out to be a fembot and shoots at Austin with her machine gun breasts. Her head explodes.
In his evil lair, high above the studio backlot, behind the "Hollywood" sign, it turns out that Doctor Evil (Mike Myers) is planning on constructing a "tractor beam" that would pull in a gold asteroid to destroy the polar ice caps and flooding the earth, along with his regular henchmen Number 2 (Robert Wagner), Minime (Verne Troyer), and his son, Scott (Seth Green). The plan, called Preparation H (because Preparations A-G didn't work), is about to be further explained, but first, we find out that Goldmember was a seventies Dutch swinger who loved gold. He even plated his "meat and two bits" gold. Before the plan is further explained, Austin Powers busts up Dr. Evil, and Austin is knighted. While receiving the award, he thanks his father, who fails to appear, and becomes the laughingstock of the world.
Austin goes to his club where after a short meeting with some Japanese twins (Fook Mi and Fook Yu), meets Basil (Michael York) with three sailors who were suspects of kidnapping his father, who didn't attend Austin's knighting on purpose. Each sailor has golden "twig and berries", Goldmember's calling card.
Powers consults Dr. Evil and Evil tells him about Goldmember, who is hiding in the seventies, and in return Austin moves Dr Evil to a lower security prison. Evil also recalls when how he was adopted as his parents' car blew up (important later) and how Austin stole the International Man of Mystery title when they were teenagers. Austin travels back to the seventies in a pimpmobile.
Austin meets Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles) and Austin goes to see his father, Nigel (Michael Caine), who is mingling with the ladies.
As they talk, the room turns so that Goldmember (Myers again) is facing them, Foxxy at his side. He escapes in a time machine with Nigel, and it turns out Dr. Evil set Austin up. Dr. Evil escaped from prison by starting a riot at the Georgia Correctional facility.
Austin and Foxxy travel to 2002 where they investigate Fat Bastard (Myers yet again), who turns out to be linked to a man named Mr. Roboto. They pay Roboto a visit and it turns out Roboto is also working for Dr. Evil.
As Austin investigates, he finds Goldmember being given the Preparation H key, and that the tractor beam is ready. Goldmember escapes in a golden car as Austin and Foxxy rescue Nigel, and give chase to Goldmember, who escapes in Dr. Evil's sub.
Nigel and Austin argue about their relationship and eventually go their separate ways.
Meanwhile, Minime has switched sides due to the fact that Dr. Evil neglected him because while in prison, Scott has taken over the evil empire, and started to look like his father. Eventually, Scott also gets rid of Roboto because he asked for a bonus, feeding him to a gift to his dad, sharks with laser beams on top of their heads.
Austin, Foxxy, and Minime infiltrate the evil submarine, and eventually Dr. Evil has a showdown with Austin before they activate the tractor beam. Nigel steps in. He tells that he was protecting his son. Austin says he doesn't need any more help. Nigel then reveals that he was protecting his other son... Dr. Evil. Evil and Austin, as babies, were in the car, and as the car blew up, Nigel thought only Austin survived. They both accept it and they all share a hug, except Scott and Goldmember. Scott complains that it isn't fair and that he hates them, and runs away like a girl (Dr. Evil: "I'd also like to say that no one else in my family runs like a girl.").
Goldmember then wants to go ahead with the plan, but Foxxy threw the key into the shark tank. Goldmember happens to keep a spare, his own member as the key. Austin and Dr. Evil team up to destroy the meteor, and they succeed, as the switching of the power box electrocutes Goldmember. After defeating Goldmember, they share another hug. Goldmember gets back up, and Foxxy raises her gun. As Goldmember turns around, it is no longer Mike Myers, Goldmember is played by... John Travolta. It seems that it's still the movie within the movie, and Foxxy and Austin leave the theater, after learning Fat Bastard went on the Subway diet and lost his fat. Austin and Foxxy kiss outside the theater, and fireworks go off.
Meanwhile, up in the Hollywood Lair, Scott plans to destroy Austin Powers, but the Michael Jackson music playing in the background just makes him dance.
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