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NOTE: A great spoiler sent in by buck thighmaster who says... "I’m a fan of the Bond character, and I enjoy Pierce Brosnan as Bond, but the movies overall have been very hit and miss, and the last few have been pretty forgettable. This outing has a few very nice humanizing touches, but also some illogically stupid and silly bits. With that in mind, here we go…"

We open just before dawn on the gray, stormy North Korean coast, where the beaches are lined with defense installations and armed guards patrol. Focus in on the breakers and there’s a figure in a hooded, camouflage wetsuit surfing into the beach. He’s joined by a companion, then another. We don’t get to see them actually land on the beach, but soon they’re running through the beach defenses right behind a passing patrol. They make it to the scrubby woods where we see that one of them is, of course, James Bond, along with a Korean agent and another I didn’t get a good look at. They flip their surfboards over on the ground and a panel pops off revealing that the boards are full of spy gear. One of the agents pops open an electrical box on an adjacent concrete pillar, clips a few wires, and a transmitter dish on a nearby defense tower goes dead. Bond stabs a miniature fold-out dish of his own into the ground and it begins transmitting.

Flash to a foreign-looking helicopter over the North Korean countryside with a well-off gentlemen in the back holding a suitcase. The dish was apparently a navigational beacon, because the electronic navigator in the cockpit suddenly shows the pilot is straying off course and he corrects. Soon the helo reaches its destination coordinates and lands, but instead of the expected welcoming party it’s Bond and his compatriots. Bond’s a passable ringer for the guy with the briefcase, so the agents take the case and the helo and leave their captives in the woods. In the helo Bond opens the case revealing many, many diamonds. He add a couple blocks of C4, and the radio detonator from his spy-watch.

The true landing coordinates are in the middle of a secure but grubby North Korean army base. In an office on the base a youngish NKA officer is beating a punching bag. He finishes and orders the bag un-zipped, out tumbles a semi-conscious Korean soldier (this is actually realistic; North Korean security loves to do stuff like this). The officer is the base colonel and cautions his victim not to lecture him again, then orders his underlings to find him a new anger management therapist (ha, ha!?). We catch up with Bond’s new helo landing here. Bond gets out and his picture is surreptitiously snapped by Zao, the strapping personal security chief for the colonel, with his camera-equipped cell phone.

Bond walks over and meets the colonel and Zao. The diamonds are conflict diamonds and Bond’s double was exchanging them for weapons. (Conflict diamonds are mined in the conflict-ridden African countries, i.e. Sierra Leone/Angola, by the armies fighting there and their trade is frowned upon internationally because the proceeds go directly to supporting continued chaotic fighting and civil war.)

The colonel brings out the weapons – armoured hovercraft he has built to travel over the minefields between North and South Korea. Three are the size of humvees, while the fourth is as big as a tractor trailer.

Now this was stupid – what was the diamond trader supposedly to do with hovercraft? Hovercraft make poor fighting vehicles, so who needs them unless you happen to be a North Korean who wants to invade the south and has the world’s largest minefield in the way. And how was the trader going to get them out of North Korea? Ridiculous.

Anyways…Zao gets a return call on his cell identifying Bond. He’s outed! Zao surreptitiously tells the colonel, and the colonel gives Bond a demonstration of his new anti-tank assault rifle by blowing up Bond’s helo. They seize Bond. Zao gets another call – it’s the colonel’s father, General Moon, and he’s on his way to the base for a friendly visit and can see the smoke from the remains of Bond’s helo. Zao looks upset, apparently his father isn’t supposed to know about any of his extra dealings. Everyone starts scrambling.

Soldiers are putting out the wreckage, the hovercraft are being hustled out of sight beyond the base, Bond is hastily pulled before a firing squad. He looks more upset about losing the hovercraft, so he twists his watch and sets off the explosives in the briefcase, taking out Zao in the explosion. The colonel has jumped on the bigger hovercraft to shepherd it safely away, and Bond catches up with one of the smaller. Bond takes out the driver and the controls for the huge front gate to the base just as he passes through, to stop any reinforcements.

Chase scene through the NK woods. Bond takes out the other two smaller hovercraft, while the colonel turns out to be a bad shot and can’t manage to hit Bond with a variety of weapons. Bond catches up with the big hovercraft and crashes his into it, then jumps aboard. The colonel and he fight, the colonel getting the better, but Bond eventually pins him to the fan on the back of the hovercraft just before it plunges over a cliff and into a river. Bond jumps free.

Bond is looking pleased with himself until General Moon shows up with a lot of troops. His son is dead and he’s not happy, but he’s not enraged either. This actor did a good job with Moon – he came across as serious but thoughtful. Bond is arrested.

Credit sequence – this time it’s women made of ice and burning metal dancing through the titles, while Bond gets beaten in NK prison. The credit modeling was fairly tasteful this time around, with mostly face shots and no blatant flaunting of their nakedness. There are also lots of shots of Bond being threatened with scorpions. Credits end.

Sub-title tells us it’s 14 months later. Bond is bearded, bruised and scraggly but looking better than he should. He is dragged into an interrogation cell where Moon is waiting, along with Bond’s interrogator, a pretty bureaucratic NKA girl working on a uni-brow. The General tries to get Bond to confess his guilt one last time, then regretfully announces that Bond’s fate is out of Moon’s hands. Bond is hustled onto a truck full of soldiers and they all drive to some low bridge surrounded in fog. Bond is made to stand in the middle of the bridge, soldiers form up as a firing squad. Moon semi-apologizes for the behaviour of his dead son, blaming it on the colonel’s Harvard education, and tries to get Bond to name the colonel’s accomplice in the West. This is news to Bond.

The firing squad jumps back in the truck and Bond is confused. This was silly – does he expect executions are often carried on bridges? It’s a trade, of course, and as Bond crosses the bridge into South Korea he passes Zao.

Zao is looking quite healthy, except for the diamonds embedded in the skin of his face. As soon as Bond arrives to freedom he gets a needle stuck in his arm and he’s strapped to a stretcher. The American intelligence guy in charge, Falco, (Michael Madsen) comments how Bond’s ‘acting’ like he’s a hero.

Medical facilities: they scan Bond and find he’s full of bad drugs, including scorpion venom (?!), but in generally good shape. Bond wakes up in a sealed medical lab. M walks in and complains how he made a hash of things and she didn’t want him back. Zao had killed three Chinese diplomats while attacking South Korean-Chinese talks and he was only traded for Bond because MI6 became convinced Bond was spilling his guts to the Korth Koreans. They intercepted a signal from Bond’s prison giving up the name of their top NK agent. Bond denies. M says too bad, you suck, license revoked.

Bond thinks about his time in prison, looks depressed, his heart rate drops slowly to zero. The nurses zap him once with the paddles but before they can do it again Bond wakes up, turns the paddles on them, and skedaddles out of his medical prison. It’s unclear whether it was some trick on Bond’s part, or he WAS that depressed and the shock snapped him out of it.

He discovers he’s on a British naval cruiser and jumps over the side into Hong Kong harbour, then swims across to the yacht club. When Bond climbs out of the water he actually grunts a bit and acts like he’s seen a bit of abuse. He walks into the Hong Kong Hyatt dripping wet in his hospital pjs and asks for his usual room. The concierge, Chang, recognizes Bond, gives him the Presidential Suite, and promises to send up a tailor. A scene change later Bond is shaven, dressed, and looking much healthier in his suite.

A sexy masseuse arrives, compliments of the manager. Bond feels her up, she plays coy, then he snatches a gun off her thigh and throws an ashtray through a mirrored wall. There’s Chang, crouched with a couple other guys and a video camera. Turns out Chang’s Chinese Intelligence and Bond’s known for a while. Bond offers China revenge for their dead diplomats in exchange for getting him into NK so he can assassinate Zao. Change passes on the offer and Bond checks out with a Chinese passport and news that Zao is now in Havana somewhere.

In Havana Bond looks up an old British contact at his business, using his Universal Exports front. The contact helps him locate Zao down the coast at some exotic Cuban medical clinic for Cuban politicians and rich Westerners. Bond borrows a gun and drives down. There he meets up with a rude guy on a hotel patio, waiting to go to the island medical clinic the next day, and Jinx (Halley Barry), who’s enjoying the ocean.

She and Bond flirt. I wish I could remember the dialogue, because it was much better than the usual sophomoric Bond seductions. Bond spends the night in her room behaving like he’s spent 14 months in a North Korean prison.

He wakes up minus Jinx, goes to the window – she’s getting on the boat to the island with her special medical papers. Bond tracks down the rude guy, knocks him out, sticks him in a wheelchair, and uses his papers to get onto the boat. At the medical clinic Bond finds a hidden section where all the high tech exotic stuff is done and eventually locates Zao lying on a stretcher in front of a CAT scan, getting some weird facial treatment.

Meanwhile, Jinx is in the office of the lecherous head doctor, who’s explaining how he’ll kill off all her bone marrow than give her new bone marrow from indigents in order to replace her DNA (?!) and give her a new identity. Jinx agrees and writes out a check, then shoots the doc, burns her medical records, rifles his files ‘til she finds Zao’s, then sets a bomb in the doctor’s desk.

Bond wakes up Zao. He’s bald and looking half-albino at this point in his treatment and still has the diamond beauty marks. Bond and he fight. Zao gets a few more scars to the face, then makes his escape. Bond chases him to the doctor’s office where the bomb goes off before Bond can follow Zao out the window.

Outside Jinx is waiting for Zao and takes a few shots at him as he commandeers a chopper and escapes. Cuban soldiers approach to arrest Jinx and Bond watches as she peels off her pant suit, revealing a bikini, and dives off the cliff bordering the medical clinic into the ocean where a speed boat awaits.

Bond managed to snatch a necklace off Zao that looked like it had more than sentimental value. The pendant is a big bullet, which conceals several large diamonds. Bond takes them to his Havana contact, who has them tested chemically and reveals they are chemically identical to the conflict diamonds from central Africa. They also have a GG pattern lasered onto them in a diamond pattern.

This reveals they came from Gustav Graves - a new diamond mogul who has ‘discovered’ a mine in Iceland in the not too distant past. Graves has already promised half the proceeds from the mine to charity. Bond heads for England.

London, Trafalgar Square or someplace like that, Paparazzi cluster impatiently waiting for someone. It’s Gustav, arriving for his appointment to be knighted by the Queen! He jumps out of a helicopter overhead and parachutes to a landing before the photographers, meeting up with his perfectly coiffed publicist, Miranda Frost. Gustav trades quips with the press, playing coy on some space project of his, then catches a car while Bond looks on.

The actor for Graves was excellent. He looked young, smart, strong, ambitious and arrogant. The perfect young Turk. He also had a smarmy smile that looked like it was waiting for a prescription of knuckles. Much better than that media guy from the last movie. He would have been more convincing as a hairdresser.

Fencing practice at an oak-paneled gentleman’s club. A man and woman go at it on the mat, while the fencing instructor looks on. Bond approaches and the instructor turns around. It’s Madonna!?

For some reason her nose looks big. Madonna’s acting is quite stiff at first. She’s also wearing a high-necked, sleeveless medieval bondage bustier-thing. Madonna reveals the two fencers practicing are Graves and his publicist, who’s the only one who can beat him. Miranda took women’s gold in Sydney.

Madonna introduces Bond, he offers to fight Graves, they bet 1K a point, first to three, Madonna bows out. In classic Bond fashion he loses the first two points, then offers to up the bet, revealing his GG diamonds. Graves seems to have an inkling where Bond might have gotten them and is eager to oblige. Bond promptly scores a nick on Graves wrist with his blunted fencing foil.

Graves is enraged and suggests they go at it with edged weapons, to first blood from the torso. He grabs two sabers off the wall and he and Bond go at it. Our hero takes an early nick to the thigh, but the fight spills out into the hallway of the club. Like most Bond fights it quickly get messy. They crash into display cases, lose and recover their swords, switch weapons, trade blows, stumble over furniture. Bond keeps Graves on the run, but Graves gets in several blows and kicks to the head.

It’s an exciting fight, nice sword work, but it lacks the touch of humour that the best Bond tussles have. Graves comes off as a worthy opponent. They chase each other into the club courtyard amidst other club members, where Graves takes a slash to the chest before falling into a fountain. He comes up for air in good spirits, shaking off his previous anger.

Downstairs later he pays off his bet with Bond and invites him to Iceland that weekend for a demonstration Graves is hosting. Bond compliments the coldly attractive Miranda but she shoots him down. A club doorman passes Bond a package that contains an antique key.

The key gets Bond into an ancient guardhouse on some London bridge, which leads down into an abandoned tube station where M awaits. She reveals MI6 is suspicious of Graves, and asks what Bond’s got on him. Bond actually shows some humanity and says ‘too bad’, then takes M to task for being an unsupportive ingrate. She’s says ‘okay, okay, you’re back on the team’. She then orders him to give Graves a shake and see what falls out.

Next scene Bond is in his office cleaning his gun when shots ring out. He strolls through MI6 headquarters taking out attacking commandos, eventually ending up in M’s office where he gives her a flesh wound in order to take out the commando holding her hostage. The whole thing looks like a psych test to check Bond out after this captivity, but it’s revealed to be a VR practice sim when Q (John Cleese) walks through the wall.

They stroll through Q’s office, which is full of old spy gadgets. These include medieval shoes with daggers in the toe and cheesy gadgets from earlier movies, mostly Roger Moore ones. Cleese’s repartee with Bond is good. The old Q was fun and cranky, but you also knew he had a soft spot for Bond. The new Q is just annoyed by 007.

Bond gets a new watch, and a ring that will ultrasonically break even bullet proof glass. Q also gives him an invisible car. Bond is mystified until Q walks around it and his figure distorts, revealing the car’s presence. The Aston-Martin has cameras on all sides and a projection skin, as well as the usual armaments.

Meanwhile, M meets with Miranda, the publicist! She’s an MI6 agent who’s been assigned to Graves for a while. She’s a former cryptanalyst who moved up to active agent. M informs her that 007 is coming in to shake things up, as the publicist has turned up nothing dirty on Graves. The agent is unimpressed with 007, considers him a hazard.

Bond drives to Gustav’s in Iceland. Graves has a geodesic dome with a tropical environment for a house, beside his mine. He’s also built an ice palace on the lake nearby for the gala. It’s basically a giant ice dome with a ramp spiraling up the inside leading to rooms in the sides of the dome. When Bond arrives he is greeted by Graves’ Samoan bodyguard, who introduces himself in four words as Mr. Kil. He has no other lines in the movie.

Graves arrives in his ice speeder. Picture one of those ice racers without a sail, but a small jet engine instead, and a parachute breaking system. Graves is trying to beat the land speed record as a hobby. He and Bond walk inside and Miranda the publicist shows Bond to his room, where she shoots him down again.

Outside Jinx arrives. Graves lies under a funky fiber-optic mask in his tropical dome house. Footsteps approach, it’s Zao! He and Graves greet each other with great sincerity, and it becomes apparent that Graves is the colonel from NK. He survived and got the Cuban DNA treatment to become a freckled red-head, but he’s got permanent insomnia from a head injury when he went over the falls, or the treatment or something, thus the light mask therapy.

That night Bond and Jinx meet up at the gala. He complains about her behaviour in Cuba, she blows him off. The chemistry was good.

Graves holds a demo outside of his new satellite, Icarus, which happens to be enormous. It unfolds a giant reflective dish that lets him focus the sun’s rays, so he can concentrate them on one spot or reflect the sun while it’s still around the edge of the planet and bring day to parts of the Earth in darkness. He claims it’s for growing crops 24 hrs a day.

The controls for the satellite are in a huge suitcase, which Bond follows back to Graves’ geodesic house in the snow next door to the ice palace. Bond gets close to the house by driving his invisible car into the front yard. Of course no one bumps into the car even though the front yard is about the size of a swimming pool. Bond spies through the windows into the tropical dome, is discovered, flees back to the gala parking lot where the publicist helps him cover himself by pretending to make out with him. Soon it becomes a case of ‘she doth protest too much’ and Bond and his fellow agent adjourn to his room for some sack time and to keep up the charade.

Meanwhile Jinx rappels into the tropi-dome, discovers Graves in his light chair, but it’s really Zao and she’s captured with the help of the Samoan. They chain her spread-eagled to a hydraulic lift that’s part of the mining equipment. Of course the mine is fake, a front for conflict diamonds, but the mining laser systems are real to keep up the cover. Zao tortures Jinx with an electrified glove.

Bond leaves his suite, cuts a hole in the ice in the lake with his watch-laser, and swims underwater to the tropical hot-tub in the tropi-dome. He finds Jinx, with the Samoan about to finish her off with the mining lasers. Bond saves Jinx but then she watches helplessly chained while Bond fights Mr. Kil amidst the dancing laser beams. The fight is lame and doesn’t use the lasers well. Eventually Jinx manages to grab the laser control swinging on the end of a cable and zaps Mr. Kil in the back of the head as he tries to stab 007. Then she lasers off the Samoan’s hand and uses it to open the palm-print security door back into the more private part of the tropi-dome. Bond goes in while she heads back to the ice palace to hole up in his room. Once back there the electronic doors shut automatically behind her, locking her in.

Bond lies in wait for Graves in his office. He arrives in the morning with Zao and the publicist in tow. Bond pulls a gun on Graves (although technically he doesn’t have much on the guy at this point) and Miranda the agent follows suit. Then she turns her gun on 007. Turns out she’s been the colonel’s agent ever since the Sydney Olympics where he arranged to have her chief competition disqualified on a fake steroid charge so she could win that gold. Bond escapes by shattering the glass floor of the office with his ring.

He gets chased out of tropi-dome, leaving on Jinx’ rappelling line, and steals Graves ice racer. No one pursues. Inside, some Korean generals arrive in Graves ‘other’ office where he gives them a demonstration of Icarus’ true power. He uses the satellite control to focus a concentrated beam of sunlight and chase Bond across the ice. Bond reaches the edge of the glacier he’s been racing across, where it meets the sea, and slides off the edge. An emergency anchor cable on the ice racer keeps him from falling. Graves then slices off the edge of the glacier with his magnifying glass. Millions of tons of ice fall into the sea, making a huge wave.

Now this next bit again was ridiculous, and entirely computer animated which didn’t help. Bond has torn the parachute brake out off the ice racer, and the metal parachute cover which is vaguely trough shaped. He somehow keeps the board on his feet and para-sails down the huge wave ahead of all the ice, eventually using an iceberg as a jump to propel himself back up onto a nearby glacier.

On the glacier 007 waits around until one of Graves’ men conveniently comes by on a snowmobile. Zao goes back to the ice palace to check on Jinx and earns a boot to the head but, satisfied he knows where she is, locks her in Bond’s suite in the ice palace. Graves kicks everyone out of the ice palace and starts loading his gear onto his personal jet, which happens to be a giant tricked-out transport plane. He then focuses Icarus onto the ice palace to melt it and bury Jinx, who we’ve learned is NSA.

Bond gets back and tries to sneak up to the tropi-dome in his invisible car again, while Zao is hustling the security staff around closing up shop. This time a guy drives his snowmobile head on into the Aston-Martin while Bond is parked and gives the game away. Zao jumps in his own car, a BMW roadster I think it was, pops off a few shots from the trunk-mounted gatling gun and does enough damage to the Aston to disable the camouflage electronics. Then the chase is on!

Zao chases Bond across the ice, their cars spinning and sliding all over the place. Zao turns out to have just as many weapons built into his ride as Bond does, so it’s dueling gadget cars! Rockets, mortars, and automatic shotguns all come into play, but it’s a stand-off as each handily defeats every move the other comes up with. Zao once more comes off as a more worthy foe than Bond’s had in a while.

Meanwhile the melting ice palace is filling Jinx’s room with freezing water and it’s getting deep. All the furniture in the room is ice as well, so it doesn’t work too well when she tries to break down the door.

Bond circles back to the rapidly melting palace and Zao chases his car inside and up the spiral ramp through sluicing cascades of melt-water. Bond’s Aston reaches the top of the ramp and he’s trapped; Zao extends the ramming spikes on the front of his car and prepares to spear Bond through his driver’s side door.

But the Bond luck holds and the Aston’s camo electronics sort themselves out! Just as Zao starts his charge, 007 extends the traction spikes on his tires, punches the invisible skin so Zao can’t see what Bond’s doing, and backs the Aston out of the way and halfway up a wall. Zao’s convertible crashes off the end of the ramp and down several stories, going right through the ice on the ground floor of the ice palace and into the lake below. Bond peels back down the ramp, heading for his suite where Jinx is busy drowning, and shoots out a chandelier with his handgun as he passes the hole where Zao’s car went through the ice. Zao comes up for air and promptly takes a huge spiky glass chandelier to the head. Much roiling pink water ensues.

Bond crashes his car through the doors to his suite and all the water pours out. A drowned Jinx ends up splayed across his windshield. Bond shatters the glass with his ring and pulls her limp body into the front seat of the car, then crashes out through the wall of the disintegrating ice palace. Outside behind the ice palace there’s a big pool of hot water that’s part of the heat exchange system for keeping it cool. Bond pulls Jinx out of the car and leaps into the warm water, where he manages to revive her.

Cut to South Korea: Bond and Jinx arrive at a US base near the border and meet up with M and Jinx’s boss, Falco (Madsen), in the intelligence command room. Falco is looking nervous, since there are 80,000 troops massing on the NK border and another 1,000,000 in reserve. M is slightly smug now that her man is vindicated and perfectly willing to send Bond in to assassinate Graves. They’ve located his transport plane on a runway in a NK air base. Intelligence also shows that hardliners have thrown a coup in NK and the nice, reasonable General Moon has been arrested. Madsen orders Jinx to tag along.

Bond and Jinx do a HALO jump out of a plane over the Korean border and use tiny gliders to travel over into NK before hitting their parachutes. They spend the night beside the runway waiting to get a rifle shot at Graves, but when he finally shows up near dawn Bond can’t get a clean shot. Graves gets on his transport plane and Bond and Jinx leap up, cut the fence beside the runway, then chase down the plane on foot as it takes off and climb onto the landing gear. Of course no NK soldiers notice them.

Inside the plane Jinx magically sheds her camouflage fatigues to look better in a red leather cat-suit with throwing knives around the waist. Of course a guard soon gets one in the neck while Bond is clubbing another into submission. They split up – Bond looking for Graves and Jinx heading for the cockpit. They pass exotic cars and a helicopter that Graves has brought with him inside his plane.

Back at intelligence headquarters they lob an anti-satellite missile at Icarus but Graves just lets the satellites automatic defenses light up the solar dish and burn up the missile before it even gets close. Of course know one seems to mention launching a missile at his cargo plane, because after all that’s exactly where you want to be when in the midst of a modern war zone. Flying around at low altitude in a giant, unmaneuverable plane full of highly explosive jet fuel.

At the front of the plane where he has an observation deck, Graves is trying on the plastic ‘body-armour’ suit that allows him to control the satellite while walking around. It looks like the next Christmas toy from Nintendo. North Korean generals look on. General Moon is brought in and Graves greets him, revealing and convincing Moon that Gustav is truly his son, the former colonel. Moon is moved to see that his son’s alive, but isn’t too impressed with his actions.

Upstairs Jinx knocks out first one pilot, then the other, and takes the controls of the plane.

Graves gives a little speech trying to convince his father that he has brought them victory with his devastating Icarus weapon and the destruction it will rain on the South after he uses it to destroy the minefield blocking the Northern troops. To demonstrate he starts sweeping the Icarus beam across the mine field at the South Korean border, cooking the mines and causes them to explode spectacularly, along with various border outposts, etc. Moon is smart enough to foresee the nuclear missiles that will come their way if this plan is followed through. Graves promptly electrocutes his father with his electrified game gauntlet, then shoot him in the gut just as Bond arrives.

Graves sees Bond before 007 can do anything and a brief gun fight ensues, quickly putting a bullet through a big observation window on the side of the plane. Everyone in the room soon gets sucked out except for Gustav and Bond, while the plane plummets wildly. Jinx gets the plane back under control and Graves and Bond start fighting.

Then Miranda shows up again! She sneaks up behind Jinx in her stylish and sexy fencing outfit and holds a sword to her neck, forcing the American agent to put the plane on autopilot and leave the cockpit. Jinx does, but not before surreptitiously steering towards the solar beam still sweeping across the mind field, then is led at sword point back to the well-appointed cabin area. It also happens to be full of various swords on display.

Back at the South Korean intelligence headquarters on the border even M is looking nervous as the solar beam approaches their location, with mines exploding in flames all along the way.

Downstairs the fight is fairly even, with Bond barely keeping the upper hand, then the plane flies through the Icarus beam and miraculously doesn’t explode, though a lot of skin panels peel off and the plane starts going down slowly. Bond is thrown off balance and Graves gets him with the stun-glove, though the turbulence saves Jinx from a sword thrust to the chest.

Jinx throws several knives at Miranda, who swats them away derisively with her sword. Then Jinx grabs a couple short swords out of a display and the two women do battle. Jinx is outclassed and barely avoids several skewerings, then manages to retrieve one of her throwing knives at a key moment and stabs Miranda in the chest. Double agent falls over dead looking shocked.

Downstairs, Graves pulls a couple parachutes out of a locker and mocks the stunned Bond before throwing one ‘chute out of the broken window. Gustav put on the other just in time for Bond to lunge up and pull the parachute release. The tangled ‘chute is sucked out of the plane and takes Graves with it. He grabs the edge of the window but Bond zaps the villain with Graves’ own stun-glove and he looses his grip, flying back into one of the jet engines.

The transport plane is definitely looking like crap. One of the engines even falls off. Bond and Jinx meet up and she offers him a last goodbye. Bond of course ‘never says die’ and leads them down to the cargo bay. They open the rear cargo doors and start the cargo conveyor belt, then clamber in Graves’ chopper they passed earlier. First the exotic cars then the helo fall out the back of the plane.

Our hero and heroine fall for a while before getting the chopper going and swoop away into the dawn. Along the way they notice the back of the helicopter is full of diamonds.

Back at MI6 headquarters Bond approaches Moneypenny at her desk outside M’s office. This is the first time he’s seen her in at least 15 months or so. A lot of unspoken emotion passes back and forth between them. This was a very nice touch. Bond’s relationship with Moneypenny has been one of the few consistent touches of any real emotion in the series over the years.

Moneypenny comes around her desk and meets Bond as he approaches. He slowly clasps her close and kisses her sweetly. Then he lowers her onto the desk and they’re passionately running their hands all over each other, starting to get hot and heavy.

What the heck? This seems suddenly out of character. Then Q’s voice cuts in asking Moneypenny what she’s up to. We pull back and see Moneypenny lying on the floor in Q’s VR suite, her clothes out of place. She quickly sits up and plays innocent. It was pretty funny!

Back on the coast of Korea, Bond and Jinx have found a little oriental cottage where they’ve landed the helo and finally hit the floor together. There’s a lot of ridiculous dialogue in voice over – ‘Leave it in. No, I should take it out. No, I want it in. Oh, it’s coming out. No, no…’ – before we cut inside the cottage and see Bond wiggling a diamond in her navel

The big pile of diamonds from the chopper is spread out beneath them.

Lying on a bed of very sharp little pebbles. It looked intensely uncomfortable. I’m not joking.

Movie ends.

That's it.



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