Former Child Star
movie trailer (apple.com - quicktime)
NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by jammin who says... "With the exception of a few parts this movie wasn't very funny. I highly recommend not seeing it."
The movie starts out with a True Hollywood Story of Dickie Roberts. He was on this show where he was this great child star (with his own line 'YOU'RE NUCKING FUTS!'). His dad left him when he was little. When his career ended with the cancellation of the show his mother left him too.
Cut to an adult Dickie Roberts (David Spade). He's completely washed out. He works as a parking valet and is a complete loser.
He and his girlfriend (Alyssa Milano) are driving in a deserted area and their tire runs out of air. As Dickie jacks up the car his girlfriend makes him mad by calling him names. He jacks it up so high the car falls over and explodes.
His girlfriend gets someone to drive her and leaves Dickie there.
The next scene is Dickie back at work parking cars. He decides to steal one for a little while. While driving this stolen car he gets into a fight with a huge biker but the windows are tinted and it's not Dickie's car (important later) so the guy writes down the license plate number. Then we see Dickie talking to Leif Garret. Leif tells him about this movie being directed by Rob Reiner. It's the talk of all of Hollywood and it could restart his career. Dickie realizes he desperately needs this role.
He needs to find a celebrity to get him an audition since Sidney (Jon Lovitz), his agent, can't do the job. Dickie realizes the only place to find celebrities is go to AA meetings. He goes to one where he finds Tom Arnold. When asked if he's an alcoholic he tells them he's not and is kicked out. He finds another one with Brendan Frasier where he immediately tells everyone he's a heavy alcoholic only too find out it's a Lamaze class. Brendan tells him he loved his show and says he'll help him get the audition.
The next scene is Dickie playing cards with a table full of ex child stars - the guy who played Screech, Danny Bonaduce, the guy who played Greg Brady, Corey Feldmen and Leif Garrett.
They all laugh at Dickie when he tells him about the audition until Brendan calls. Dickie has the audition.
Dickie goes and Rob Reiner (playing himself) tells him that he's perfect for the role physically and has the ability to play him, but Rob can't give him the role. The guy in the script is a normal guy and Dickie didn't have a real childhood. Dickie doesn't get the part.
Dickie then realizes that he can buy a family for a little while to relive his childhood. He sells an embarrassing autobiography to get the money and goes to a few houses. Each being very strange. Finally he walks up to an average American household and meets a mom (I don't remember her name, so I will just call her the mom, bare with me). The mom not knowing about the deal her husband, Chris made with Dickie she is shocked and upset. The kids Sam and Sally aren't that happy either, but Chris says he has to because they need the money.
The kids show Dickie some games and he gets mad because he remembers his rocky childhood. While Dickie goes to the bathroom at dinner the kids say that they want Dickie gone and they should pretend leaving him in this horrible treehouse is what kids do. Dickie overhears but pretends not to. He goes to the treehouse where he makes it really cool (with supplies I have no idea where he got) and the kids go in there, thinking that Dickie is cool now. We find out that Sam is bullied and that Sally hates this girl, Heather, because all the boys like her and she's a slut (even though she's like in 3rd grade).
We also find out Chris is never home, a bad dad and an asshole to the mom who Dickie starts to like. Dickie is taken for a stroller ride by the mom. Her neighbor says some annoying things and Dickie makes fun of her. He then tells the mom to stand up to her. The mom also tells Dickie to change his hair color to make him less recognizable He falls asleep while doing this and it looks messed up.
Dickie then runs to school to pick up Sam and Sally. Sam is being teased so Dickie makes fun of the 3 fat boys until they run away crying. The kids really start to like Dickie. While being driven home by the mom she tells them that she has an interior job interview but is blocked by a firetruck. Dickie calls the fire department and has the fire department go to the place where the interview is so the mom could just follow the firetruck.
She gets mad and yells at Dickie outside. Her neighbors who were annoying on the street start making comments so the mom stands up to them. Then at home tells Dickie they need to reboot his childhood like a computer. He gives her the script to read because he doesn't understand it.
At the same time Sally wants to make cheerleader but she thinks Heather is going to win. Dickie helps her with her choreography. At the competition Heather does this very slutty dance to 'I Wanna Be Bad'. Sally outdoes her and wins the position.
When they get home they find the dog has their neighbors dead rabbit in his mouth. Not to get in trouble they wash the bunny and put him back in the cage before they notice. It turns out the bunny died 2 days ago and the dog dug him from the ground. The neighbors get terrified and move away.
Suddenly Cyndi, Dickie's girlfriend who dumped him on that deserted road comes back. Dickie doesn't really like her anymore and says he doesn't want to have sex with her. She gets mad and leaves.
The new neighbors move in and have a very pretty daughter who Sam has a huge crush on. Dickie decides to help Sam out with it. He also decides he's going to learn how to ride a bike. Sam gets all his friends and the new neighbor to help out. Dickie seems to get REALLY hurt but comes out unscathed.
Dickie also gets an idea to impress the new neighbor. Sam and Dickie get on stilts and do a choreographed song over the fence. Dickie falls but Sam doesn't and asks her out. She agrees.
Suddenly Rob Reiner gets brutally beaten. It was his car who Dickie drove and the biker found him. Sidney got Dickie an audition by giving Rob Reiner his kidney (?) but Dickie doesn't think he's ready. He is told he needs to do it the next day because Rob is going under surgery.
The family decides to set the house as Christmas and the whole 'red bike under the tree' cliche. Dickie finally understands. He goes to the audition and gets it. He gets home and the family is very depressed. We find out Chris has ran off with Cyndi. Dickie consoles them but has to leave to go film the movie.
The media frenzy is all over him and he has gotten his fame back.
The next scene is the mom telling the kids she doesn't have that great of presents since they family income has almost been cut off. Dickie pops out with tons of presents. He didn't leave to go do the movie. Everyone hugs.
The next part is like the end of the True Hollywood Story. It says Dickie made a T.V. show based on his life with Leif Garret playing him and all his washed up friends having small rolls. Sally ended up being the youngest choreographer in T.V. history. Dickie and the mom got married. Everything turned out great.