DEATH AT A FUNERAL

NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by ValentineDeer.

The film opens with Daniel waiting for the undertaker to bring his father's casket to his parents' house for the funeral. They open the casket for him to look, and he states that this man is not his father. They grabbed the wrong coffin. He watches, shocked and disgusted, as they scurry away with the stranger to go retrieve the right casket.

He goes and tells his wife, Jane, about what happened, and frets over his prepared eulogy, stating that it is not good enough. Jane assures him that it is fine before changing the subject, wanting to know if he put a deposit on a flat they want so they can finally move out of his parents house, as she doesn't get along with his mother, Sandra. Daniel just brushes her off.

On the way to the funeral is Daniel's friend, Howard, a hypochondriac who is constantly fretting over a small patch of skin discoloration, thinking it to be fatal. He is traveling along with Uncle Alfie, a foul-mouthed, handicapped old man, and his own friend Justin, who is only coming to the funeral to meet with his one night stand, Martha.

Martha is the deceased's niece, and she is bringing along her fiance Simon, who is very nervous about meeting with Martha's father, who dislikes him for no particular reason. On the way they pick up her brother, Troy, who's studying to be a pharmacist and making illegal drugs on the side. He is making his latest batch (a mixture of acid, mescaline and ketamine) to drop off after the funeral, claiming to the customer on the phone that they are extremely potent. When his sister and Simon arrive, he hides them in a Valium bottle and leaves to get dressed. Simon is still stressed out, so Martha gives him a pill from the Valium bottle, not knowing that it is the designer drug.

Daniel's older brother, Robert, is a celebrated writer who has just flown in from New York and is somewhat irresponsible Since Daniel and Jane are moving out, Daniel asks Robert to take his mother to live with them, but Robert refuses. He also refuses to pay for half of the funeral as he promised, saying he spent the last of his money for a first class ticket. Also everyone at the funeral expresses their desire to have Robert preform the eulogy and are disappointed that Daniel will be doing it, upsetting him as he is also a aspiring writer working on his own novel.

As everyone starts to arrive, Simon is beginning to trip on the drugs, rambling about dogs that are not there, that "everything is green", playing with the plants and rubbing up against people. Troy finds out what happened and tells his sister that the Valium Simon took was acid, so they decide to keep a close eye on Simon for the rest of the funeral.

The funeral starts and Daniel goes to do the eulogy, which is in fact very boring and poorly written. Simon then starts to freak out, shouting at everyone that the coffin is moving and that there is someone alive in it. He overturns the casket, dumping the body in front of the screaming widow.

Martha and Troy drag Simon outside while Victor, Martha's father, comes out to yell at Simon for ruining the funeral. Martha manages to calm her father by saying that Simon is just having a bad reaction to Valium. Martha then tells Simon that he is on drugs and Simon advances on Troy (knocking Troy's pill bottle out of his jacket), demanding to know how long it will last. Troy says eight hours and Simon locks himself in the bathroom, trying in vain to get himself under control, but freaking out when he finds out that he's only been under the influence for one hour.

Daniel is approached by a dwarf named Peter, who shows Daniel some photos of him and Daniel's father in some revealing photos. It turns out that Daniel's father was a closeted homosexual and that Peter was his lover. Peter is angry that he was not included in the will and blackmails Daniel into giving him 15,000 pounds or else he'll show everyone the photos. Daniel consults Robert, who agrees that he should pay the money, but rips up the check once Peter starts bad-mouthing his novel, which he was reading while Daniel was away. Robert refuses to have Peter reveal the scandal and tackles him to the ground and orders Daniel to tie him up.

Howard walks in and the brothers tell him that Peter is having a fit, so Howard gives him pills from a Valium bottle he found earlier (Troy's drugs). Troy, who has been looking for his drugs since he dropped them, is horrified to find out that Peter has been given five pills, since only one pill has driven Simon insane. The four of them try to hide Peter, which is difficult since Uncle Alfie tries to get in to use the toilet, since he can't use the one upstairs. Howard is forced to help Uncle Alfie get on the toilet and ends up getting crap all over his hand and having it splattered onto his face. As Troy goes to help Howard, Peter begins to trip and starts bouncing on the couch before falling and hitting his head on the coffee table. He is declared dead and they decide to get rid of the body by hiding it inside the coffin. They just need to get the house cleared out first.

Simon, meanwhile, has taken off all of his clothes, escaped the bathroom and has climbed onto the roof. He sees Justin kiss Martha, who has been trying repeatedly to hook up with, and threatens to jump off the roof. His screams make everyone leave the house to watch, making the perfect distraction for the brothers to hide the body.

Martha manages to reach Simon on the roof, where he says he'll never be good enough for her nor her father and that she should leave him. She says she can't, because she is going to have his baby, and that she can't do it without him. Simon is overjoyed and follows her back into the house. Martha's father comes in and tells Simon to stay away from his daughter, but Martha says that she loves Simon, they are getting married and that he should just deal with it.

Justin is disgusted that Martha is pregnant and gets over her immediately, hitting on the first new girl he sees. Howard seems to be cured of his hypochondria, no longer caring about his skin patch and realizing that there are more important things in the world to worry about, like hiding bodies and "having Uncle Alfie's shit in his mouth."

The funeral begins again, and when Daniel starts his eulogy, there is a loud thumping and groaning coming from the coffin, and everyone realizes that there is something alive in the coffin (Simon: "I KNEW IT!"). Peter jumps out of the coffin, dumping his dirty pictures in front of Sandra, who tackles him to the ground in a rage. As chaos begins to ensue again, Daniel regains everyone's attention by making an improvised eulogy, saying that his father, while not perfect, was still a great man who loved his family. His new eulogy is passionate and from the heart, and everyone is captivated.

Later that night, the brother's reconcile their differences, with Robert agreeing to let Sandra come live with him and to help Daniel with his novel. Jane comes in and says that Uncle Alfie will be staying the night, and that she gave him a couple of Valium to help him sleep. The brothers are shocked by this.

Uncle Alfie is shown sitting on the roof, naked, saying that "everything's so fucking green."