NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by Cal. who says..."This movie is more an updated version of the Christmas Carol where the consequences of choices come crashing down around Michael Newman (Adam Sandler).
The movie starts out with Michael Newman (Adam Sandler) sleeping on the living room couch with his Golden Retriever. Two young children, Ben (Joseph Castanon) and Samantha (Tatum McCann), sneak down the stairs and zero in on a box of Twinkies just near their sleeping father. They quietly make their way to the box and are ready to snag some when Dad wakes up and surprises them. They ask if they can watch Dragon Tales, so Michael tires to turn on the TV for them. He picks up a remote, but instead of the TV going on, the fan goes on. He picks up another remote and presses a button and a toy car goes racing across the floor. He tries another remote and the garage door opens. Michael is becoming frustrated and just like that, the kids find the correct remote and turn the television on. Ben tells Michael about a universal remote that their next door neighbors have for "old people." The Golden Retriever starts humping this large stuffed duck toy and Samantha says they are dancing. Michael corrects them and says that is something they shouldn't know about for 10-30 years 10 years for Ben and 30 years for Samantha. Michael's wife, Donna (Kate Beckinsale) reminds him that Ben has a swimming meet later that day. Michael reluctantly says that he'll be there and as he's getting ready to leave for work, the young red-headed kid who lives next door, Kevin O'Doyle (Cameron Monaghan), is there to greet him. (For Adam Sandler fans, this is the return of the 'O'Doyles rule!' from Billy Madison). The O'Doyles have a new RV and Michael's car pales in comparison. They have a snappy exchange with Michael getting the last triumphant word and he drives off to work.
Traffic is a bear getting into work and Michael is running late to his architectural job. As he makes his way to his desk, he is greeted by several attractive administrative assistants. When he finally reaches his desk, his own not-as-attractive assistant, Alice (Rachel Dratch), greets him and he asks about his morning meeting. She tells him that it has already started. Then she asks if she can go to the bathroom and by their exchange, you can tell that they've had this conversation many times before and that it ticks Michael off as he tells her again that she doesn't have to ask to go the bathroom. He hurries off to his meeting and Alice rushes off in the opposite direction to the bathroom.
Michael walks into the conference room and his boss, Mr. Ammer (David Hasselhoff) is talking with Prince Habibu (Rob Schneider) and the Prince's entourage. Ammer introduces Michael and when the Prince asks if Michael is a partner, Ammer tells him that Michael is an associate. A talented associate, but just an associate. Michael apologizes for being late, blaming traffic and someone's car being parks in his space. The Prince says that he drives the car that Michael mentions, but then Michael says that it was actually a different car. An architectural model of a restaurant is on the table where a large waterfall is the obvious focal point of the design. The Prince wants to know where the bar is and when Michael points it out, the Prince wants it to be longer. Michael says that he will have to make some changes to the atrium, but the Prince stops him short and says to get rid of the atrium. Ammer agrees and yanks the whole waterfall feature out and stabs a hole in the middle for a drain. There is an animated discussion about the restaurant being a Hootchie Hut which offends Prince Habibu even though Michael was just calling it exactly what it was. Michael apologizes for any offense he may have caused and the meeting comes to an end.
Michael is next in his boss' office and being told that a lucrative deal for a nearby parking lot to be made into a hotel is his for the taking. Michael accepts and says that after the Fourth of July holiday with his family, he will get right to work on it. Ammer quickly says that he will offer it to another associate then. Michael's plans suddenly change and he tells his boss that he will work on the proposal for the Watsuhita group. Ammer seems happy by this change of events and tells Michael that they'll have drinks later. Michael mentions his son's swim meet, but can see that Ammer isn't too receptive of this, and tells Ammer that he's just kidding and leaves the office.
Next you see Michael arriving at his son's swim meet. Everyone is cheering as the swimmers finish their race. Michael goes up to his son and tells him that he did great, but instead of his son there is an Asian kid, Ping Woo (Elliott Cho) who says, "You're not my dad." Michael seems to have a problem dealing with children as an adult and resorts to bullying this kid as well by giving him the impression that maybe Michael is Ping's dad. This upsets Ping and he starts crying. Ping's family, who are waiting nearby for Ping to finish, is obviously upset as well. Michael quickly makes his way to Ben's lane where Michael's dad, Ted (Henry Winkler), and mom, Trudy (Julie Kavner), are congratulating Ben along with Samantha and Donna. Michael tries to praise Ben, too, but his efforts are shot down by comments that he was late (Ben) and didn't even know what stroke Ben was swimming (Samantha). Ben's coach, Bill (Sean Astin), arrives and praises Ben with the exact same dolphin praise that Michael gave Ben, but for everyone - especially Ben - it seems to be valid when Bill says it.
It's now night time and the family is trying to enjoy the Fourth of July fireworks, but Michael is busy speaking with Ammer on the phone about the upcoming Watsuhita presentation. Some jerky teenagers are setting off fireworks of their own which is interrupting Michael's conversation. Michael tells the teenagers to knock it off, but the group of kids doesnt seem all that scared by Michael's threats. Ben is shown burying his face in ice cream and Grandma Trudy can't understand why Ben is still eating. Donna tells him that Ben isn't eating because he's hungry; he's just trying to be like Michael. Grandpa Ted is entertaining everyone at the picnic table with his famous quarter eating trick which amazes everyone. Michael finally wraps up his conversation with Ammer much to his family's relief. All of a sudden, another firework goes off and Michael launches himself over the fence towards the group of teenagers, chasing them up the hill, telling them that he beat up their father and now he's coming after them. The Woo family is shown at a nearby picnic table and the family is further upset by Michael's behavior.
Now the family is at home and you see Donna is dressed up as Pocahontas coming down the stairs. Ben follows as a cowboy and wants to play some more, but Donna insists that it's time for bed. Donna tries to have a conversation with Michael, but he keeps putting her off and gets back to the real task at hand for him the Watsuhita pitch. Michael is trying to watch a video on Asian design, but again, is running into the problem of the multiple remotes. After a helicopter rams into his head, he has finally had enough. If the O'Doyles can have a universal remote, then he's going to get one, too. He leaves in a huff and drives to find a universal remote. It's late, so most of the stores are closed; but finally, he comes to a Bed Bath & Beyond that is open. Michael is wandering around and asks a guy (Nick Swardson) if they carry universal remotes. It turns out that this guy doesn't work at Bed Bath & Beyond, he's just waiting for his friends. Well, actually, he doesn't have any friends does Michael want to be his friend? Michael can't believe he's been wasting his time with this guy and so he continues his search solo. Exhaustion takes over and Michael collapses on one of the display beds. He turns his head and sees a sign over a door that says Beyond. Curiosity gets him and he goes to see what's Beyond.
A dark hallway leads Michael to what looks like a tinker's workshop complete with Morty (Christopher Walken), a crazy looking hermit. Michael asks him if they have any universal remotes back there. Morty says that there is a new device, a smart remote that learns as you use it, that may be the answer. Morty goes to another heavily padlocked door that says Way Beyond and after unlocking all the locks, leads Michael into a large expansive warehouse. Morty finds a large metal closet and as he opens the multiple doors, steps back to see if he can find what he is looking for. One opening is glowing ominously in what appears to be an otherwise empty space organizer. Morty uses a step ladder to reach the box and brings out a blue remote control. It looks very high tech and Michael asks how much it is. Morty says that since it's so new, it's not even in the system, so he'll just have to give it to Michael. Michael starts getting suspicious and wants to know what Morty has in mind for payment, but Morty tells him that sometimes a nice guy needs a break. Oddly enough, this satisfies Michael 'cause he sees himself as a good guy who never gets any breaks, so he takes the remote with the warning from Morty that there are no returns.
Michael gets home and tests out the universal remote on the video he had been trying to watch earlier. It immediately starts right up and Michael is happy. Donna comes down and an argument starts, but before it can really get anywhere, Michael pauses the video and in doing so, pauses Donna as well. Michael continues on with his thoughts with no regard to what Donna is saying, so he doesn't even notice what he has done. When he starts the video up again, Donna is unpaused as well, and by all accounts, they have said what they wanted to say. Donna goes to bed and Michael goes back to work. Later on, Michael is in the kitchen and his Golden Retriever comes in to tell Michael that he has to go out by barking at him. Michael really doesn't appreciate this interruption either and finally having enough, grabs the nearby universal remote, points it at the dog and hits the volume button. Immediately, the dog's barking gets quieter. Michael can't believe it. He raises the volume and the dog's bark gets louder. He lowers the volume and the barking gets quieter. Michael finally takes the dog outside, but the dog is busy smelling for just the right place and isn't in all that much of a hurry after all. Michael's impatience gets the best of him and out comes the remote. This time it's fast forward and much to Michael's satisfaction, the dog goes through his paces at an accelerated rate and finally does his business.
Michael is working on his design in the basement and Donna comes down to have a talk with him, but again, an argument breaks out. Michael fast forwards through the argument and when it ends and Donna goes back upstairs, its like he has won the lottery. However, later, he feels bad about fighting with Donna, so he goes up to their bedroom to make-up. Michael starts feeling amorous towards Donna and wants to get it on, but she wants to be romanced a little. Michael starts to make a half hearted effort if that and his eyes fall on the clock. Before you know it, Michael has fast forwarded through the moment and he's lying on his back thoroughly satisfied and Donna is just lying there. It was obviously much better for Michael than it was for Donna. Michael says that he'll get her next time, but he better get back to work. Donna just rolls over and tries to go to bed.
The next morning, Michael is in the kitchen with Donna and Donna's friend, Janine (Jennifer Coolidge). He leans over to Donna and apologizes for the night before and they share a tender moment. Janine says that she wants what they have she wants a husband to pour juice for. Michael digs into Janine over her three failed marriages to men who she cheated on with their unemployed brothers. This sets Janine off and Michael mutes her as Janine rants while Donna tries to calm her down. Michael hits the picture in picture feature and is entertained for a bit, but eventually returns things to normal. Donna asks why Michael has to be so mean to Janine, but Michael wont show any sympathy and finally heads out to his car. Kevin O'Doyle is showing off his new robotic dog to Ben and Samantha. Michael isn't impressed and as he backs out of the driveway, smashes the dog, and insults Kevin to boot.
Due to the cancelled camping trip because Michael has to work on the Watsuhita project, the kids are having friends sleep over and Michaels parents are coming over for dinner. All of this is just too much for Michael and he discovers that he can fast forward through chapters so he goes ahead and jumps through everyone playing, everyone eating, and finally finds himself in the basement working. He is relieved. His parents come down to say what a nice time they had and to say goodbye. Michael has to admit, he had a good time, too. Donna comes down to the basement with the duck in severe disrepair from a sexual assault from Michaels dog. She mentions meeting Michael the next day to get a gift for Michaels father. After she leaves, he cant figure out what happened and calls on Morty to explain what is going on.
Morty has Michael rewind the evening so that he can see the various events that occurred. As they are eating, Donna leans over and mentions meeting for lunch to get the gift for Ted. Michael nods and Morty explains to him that he was on auto pilot. His mind fast forwarded through all the events, but his body was still experiencing them. Michael is introduced to DVD-like features that the universal remote is capable of, including commentary by James Earl Jones. Michael reviews a scene where Alice, his assistant, brings him a cheeseburger rather than a hamburger for lunch. He silently wonders whether or not to have Alice scrape the cheese off, but decides against it because he fears she may spit on his food. According to James Earl Jones commentary, that is exactly what Alice was contemplating. Later the cold that has been dogging Michael finally drags him down enough so that Michael resorts to the remote to fast forward him until he's feeling better.
We next find Michael waking up, able to breath with no lingering effects of his cold. He is also told there is no hot water. Michael isn't going to suffer through that, so he fast forwards through his shower and the next thing he knows, he's sitting at the kitchen table all dressed enjoying a cupcake for breakfast. Just like his dad, Ben is indulging as well. Samantha wants to help Michael with all his work and having a good kid moment, Michael suggests that Ben and Samantha submit some design ideas to him. They get straight to work and Michael heads off to work. Michael can't remember finishing the Watsuhita presentation, but finds it in his briefcase, so continues on his way. Traffic is again congested and at one point, Michael is stopped next to this flashy red convertible with a loud stereo and a lip-synching driver. Out comes Michael's trusty remote control and the next thing we know, Michael is pulling into his open parking spot and arriving at work. Looking in the rearview mirror, Michael notices how pale he is and decides that he needs some color. After being jaundice yellow, then Hulk green, and finally Barney purple, Michael finds just the right tan to give him that healthy glow.
Today is the company's sexual harassment education day. Ammer is presenting and it's obvious that he doesn't find sexual harassment such a bad thing. Michael, becoming bored with the situation, entertains himself by messing with some of the visual features such as wide angle and panoramic. He also tests out the language features and switches things to Spanish. For Michael, the remote has spiced things up and he loves it. Ammer tells him that if Michael can land the Watsuhita account, the partnership he has wanted for so long is his.
That night, Michael finds himself at dinner with the Watsuhita group at an Asian restaurant. The Watsuhita group excuses themselves to the bar for a moment and Ammer excuses himself to the restroom. Michael can see that the businessmen are speaking amongst themselves in Japanese, so he takes out the universal remote and again utilizing the language feature makes it so he can understand what is being said finds out that the Watsuhita group is not impressed by Michael's pitch and can't wait to get out of this place and go over to T.G.I. Fridays for Jell-O shots. When everyone returns to the table, Michael takes his presentation and rips it in half, saying that the old idea won't work for them. Exploiting what he had overheard thanks to the remote, he tells them exactly what they want to hear and finishes it up with the getting out of this stuffy restaurant and going to enjoy Jell-O shots. Michael has managed to seal the deal and win the Watsuhita account. The partnership is his!
Michael arrives at home and two souped up bicycles complete with helmets and bells for Ben and Samantha. And for Donna, he gives her a fancy purse she had been wanting. For himself, Michael has pampered himself with an expensive cigar. Everyone is thrilled by the news of Michael's promotion. Things are definitely looking up.
Donna asks Michael if he remembers the song that was playing when they had their first kiss. Michael cant remember, so he secretly resorts to the remote and he is instantly warped back in time to a bar where he and Donna are writing notes to each other on cocktail napkins. A panning shot of the bar shows Janine as a punk rocker, which is pretty humorous. He asks if they should kiss. Donnas note seems to indicate that shes not sure; will he still love her in the morning? Michaels response is Forever and Ever, Babe. They kiss and in the background, the Cranberries are singing, Linger. Michael returns to the present and he serenades Donna with some Cranberries.
The next day, Michael meets with Ammer and the celebratory atmosphere comes to an abrupt end with the news that the partnership had some strings attached. Not only did Michael have to get the Watsuhita deal, but he also had to handle all the related paperwork BEFORE he could be a partner. Michael tells Ammer that he has already spent money he can't afford to spend and that the paperwork will take at least two months to finish, but this does not endear Michael to Ammer. He wants the paperwork finished first. Michael's hand slides behind his back and he hits pause. Michael flies off the handle as he smacks a frozen Ammer upside the head several times. He unpauses and Ammer has a "sudden" headache hit him.
Michael goes home and tries to work on the Watsuhita project, but again, things keep piling up and he doesnt feel like hes making any progress. He heads outside to wind down with his cigar, but gets interrupted by Kevin. Kathy ODoyle (Carolyn Hennesy), Kevins mom, catches Michael smoking, but Michael quickly turns the tables on Kevin and tells Kathy that he actually took the cigar away from Kevin. Kevin gets called back to the house where punishment is sure to be handed out much to Kevins dismay.
Michael meets with Ammer while Ammer is having a salad for lunch in his office. Michael pauses and then climbs up on Ammers desk and proceeds to garnish the salad with numerous rotten air biscuits. Michael gets off the desk and then unpauses the action, leaving Ammer to be suddenly inundated by the foul smell that has saturated his food.
Donna has to tell the kids that the bikes have to go back because they cant afford them since Michaels promotion didnt go through. Both Ben and Samantha are upset and Donna tries to smooth things over by offering to paint her own bike, so Ben can ride it. Michael cannot take it anymore, so he fast forwards to his promotion, which takes place at his architectural firm surrounded by his co-workers. Ammer makes a toast and as Michael is being congratulated, Ammer thanks him for introducing him to Janine. When Michael comments how quick the two of them got together, he is corrected and comes to realize that a year has passed by. He also finds out that he has a new attractive assistant and that Alice is now Alan.
Michael arrives home, but instead of his Golden Retriever, a little rat dog by the name of Peanut is now apparently the family dog. Michael is upset and apparently grieves for the first time over this loss. Later on, Donna suggests some role playing as Pocahontas and before you know it, we see a familiar scene with Michael lying fully satisfied in bed and Donna being shorted again.
Michael realizes that the remote is fast forwarding on its own and that he no longer can control it, so he decides that he has to get rid of it. Again, Morty mysteriously appears, but reminds him that the remote is non-returnable. Michael tries throwing the remote away, but it reappears. He tries a number of simple ways to be rid of it and each time, the remote reappears. Becoming desperate, he says that he is going to remove his clothes, so the remote has no place to hide, but Morty points out that by doing so would leave the remote only one place to go.
Ammer tells Michael that he and Janine are going to Morocco and that there are going to be some management changes to cover this development. Michael is going to be promoted again. Fast forward and Michael is now
A futurist bedroom is shown when a video phone goes off. Ammer informs Michael that the man that replaced Ammer at the firm killed himself and so that makes Michael the next boss. Fast forward to Michael
Michael goes over to his old house and a rather large version of Ben (Jonah Hill) is on the couch. Michael cant believe how obese Ben is. Ben lashes out and blames Michael for being overweight. A saucy teenager in some provocative clothing comes down the stairs and Michael realizes that it is Samantha (Lorraine Nicholson). He tells her that she needs to go change into some more appropriate. Michael then hears some noise coming from out back and finds Donna outside.
Another new family dog is now in place. Bill, the old swim coach, comes into the backyard and Michaels jealousy gets the best of him when he finds out that Bill and Donna are involved. A fight ensues. Michael doesnt want the remote to fast forward through the fight like it has done in the past, so Michael uses the remote to pause the situation. He then kicks Bill in the groin a number of times. When he unpauses, Bill collapses. Michael trips and hits his head against a stone wall.
The next thing you know, Michael is in a hospital room and Donna is there telling him that had he not hit his head, they would have never found the tumor. While Michael avoided the fight, the remote ended up fast forwarded through Michaels illness. As Michael investigates his current situation, he finds that he has lost a lot of weight and now has a very flabby piece of skin where his belly once was. Donna says that one more tummy tuck should fix that. Michael cant keep himself from playing with the big flap of skin much to Donnas disgust. Donna tells Michael that Bill is waiting for her, so she leaves.
Michael enters his office, which now bears his name. A skinny Ben (Jake Hoffman) greets him. Michael wants to know how he lost the weight and Ben reveals that hard work and exercise with Bill helped him a lot.
Michael finds out that his father has passed away. He cant rewind to just before Ted died because he wasnt there, so he rewinds to the last time he saw his dad. Morty tells Michael that he is an angel, the Angel of Death.
Michael finds himself back at the office, sitting behind a desk, when Ben comes in to tell him that he figured out how to improve a building design and lower its cost. Michael doesnt seem interested by this information. Michaels father comes in and suggests a boys night out. Ben says that hes up for it, but Michael says that hes busy. Ted offers to show Michael the quarter trick and even tell him the secret if he comes, but Michael finally breaks and angrily tells his father that hes always known the secret to his trick. Ted apologizes for interrupting, but before leaving in defeat, he tells Michael that he loves him. The remote controlling Michael argues with the workaholic version of himself and then rewinds Ted telling the unappreciative Michael that he loves him several times to try and savior the moment.
Michael is now at a flashy party on a stage when he is asked to make a speech. It turns out that Michael is at Bens wedding to Judy (Jenae Altschwager). As he is making the speech, he sees his mother amongst the other guests. After his speech, Michael is making his way through the crowd when he comes upon Donna and Bill. Donna thanks Michael for helping out with the wedding and then the song Linger comes on. Donna asks Bill if its okay if she dances with Michael. Michael sees Samantha (Katie Cassidy) dancing with Bill and overhears her call him Dad. This causes Michael to panic and he has a heart attack. Instantly, he is fast forwarded to more futuristic hospital room.
Ben and Samantha are there and Michael is happy to see them. As they are talking, Samantha tells Michael that she has two dads. Ben tells them that a deal fell through and he is putting off the honeymoon in order to do damage control. Ben says that Judy understands that business comes first. Michael becomes agitated by this and the attendant tells Ben and Samantha they have to go.
Michael does not want Ben to make the same mistakes he did, so he gathers all his strength, frees himself from the contraptions that are keeping him alive and tries to go after Michael. Outside it is raining very hard and in his weakened state, Michaels pleas cannot be heard as he sees Ben and Samantha getting into a car. Michaels body fails him and he collapses. Just before Ben gets in the car, he looks back and sees his father lying in the rain. He rushes to his side and everyone in the car follows. Michael whispers that family comes first. Ben understands and turns to kiss his new bride, telling Judy that he loves her. Morty is there and reminds Michael about the note for Donna. He gives the note to Donna and she sees that it asks if she will still love him in the morning. She says Forever and ever, Babe. Morty tells Michael that it is now his time.
Michael opens his eyes and finds himself in the bed display at Bed Bath & Beyond. He realizes it was just a dream and celebrates this with the equally ecstatic guy from before and tells him that hell be his friend. He hurries home and wakes everyone by pounding on a pot with a spoon. He then sits down on the couch and acts like hes busy working when Donna comes down. He tells her that he cant make plans for their camping trip if she interrupts him. Donna starts to argue and then realizes what Michael has said. The kids come down and Michael lavishes a lot of attention on both of them much to Donnas happy amazement. Michael introduces a friend for his beloved Golden Retriever, an English Bulldog (perhaps a cameo by Adam Sandlers own Bulldog?!?). Instead of the dogs falling in love, they both start assaulting the stuffed duck, but to the chagrin of all those watching.
*CUT TO THE CHASE*
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Morty (Christopher Walken) gives architect Michael Newman (Adam Sandler) a universal remote that controls his life. He uses it for his own gain, skipping arguments, muting annoying barking dogs, punching his boss, and so forth.
Eventually Michael, impatient to get his promotion, tells the remote to fast-forward him to when he gets it - which, it turns out, is in a year. The remote programs itself and fast-forwards past anything Michael has skipped before - showering, sex with his wife, hugging his kids, more promotions, etc. etc. Eventually his whole life has passed him by - he is successful but alone. He has missed his father's death, caused by Morty, who reveals that he is the Angel of Death (!). His wife, Donna (Kate Beckinsale) has left him for their son's old swimming coach, Billy (Sean Astin.) His daughter, Samantha, is a gorgeous blonde, and his son Ben is also a successful architect. He has a heart attack at Ben's wedding and is visited in the futuristic hospital by Ben and Samantha. Ben reveals that he has cancelled his honeymoon because he has too much work to do, which horrifies Michael because it reminds him of himself. Ben and Samantha are eventually asked to leave by a male nurse. Michael runs out after them but unplugs himself from the machine keeping him alive, so he collapses in the street as his family gets into a taxi. Ben spots him right before they leave and runs to his aid; Samantha, Donna and Billy soon follow. As Michael dies in the street, he tells a sobbing Ben what he has learned: "Family comes first." He then passes on, but we are quickly taken back to...
...Bed Bath and Beyond, where Michael had met Morty in the first place. He's been asleep in one of the display beds. It was all a dream. Elated, he drives back to his home and hugs his kids and wife, appreciating them like he never has before. When the kids are in bed and Donna is upstairs waiting to make love with Michael - which he's excited he will be able to experience again! - he sees the remote on the table, with a card from Morty saying that he "knows he [Michael] will use it correctly this time." Michael picks up the remote and throws it in the garbage, does a typical Sandler-fied dance, and runs upstairs.
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