NOTE: Another great spoiler sent in by Marcus.
The film begins with Victor Mancini (Sam Rockwell) attending a sex-addict support group. His best friend Denny (Brad William Henke) is also in the support group for masturbating at least fifteen times a day. Victor is a sponsor for Nico (Paz de la Huerta), who is a former prostitute. She sits next to Victor and hands him something before leaving. Victor looks at her panties in his hands and shortly leaves as well. Victor and Nico have sex on the floor of the bathroom. After they are done, she asks him what his job is. We then see Victor working at a colonial theme park as a historical re-enactor. Denny also works at the park, and they are forced to stay in character the full time they are at the park. Ursula (Bijou Phillips) works at the park and milks the cows, which turns Victor on. While a tour group of students spend time with Ursula, Victor takes the teacher to a barn and has sex with her. After he’s done, he sees that Denny has been locked up in a post by some of the kids. He releases him, and then they ogle Ursula as she walks by. They imagine what kind of breasts she has, and then they are spotted by their boss Lord High Charlie (Clark Gregg). Charlie walks over to them and gets upset that Denny does not have his wig on, thus breaking character. He also tells them that he’ll have to dock their paychecks for their constant mistakes. Victor stands up and gets ready to fight Charlie when Denny points out that their bus is leaving without them. Victor and Denny leave Charlie to run and catch the bus.
Victor and Denny go to a restaurant, and Denny gets upset when Victor readies his napkin. He just wants to have a normal dinner, but Victor is aiming to scam someone. He wolf downs some meat, and then pretends to choke. He gets up and staggers around the restaurant, eyeing potential suckers. He sees that the busboy wants to save him, but he moves away since he knows that he doesn’t have any money. He staggers over to a tanned woman, but moves away again when he sees that she has a cheap digital watch on. Finally, he sees a man in a suit with his wife in the background. Victor goes over to him and the man performs the Heimlich maneuver, “saving” him and causing him to spit his meat onto Denny. The man then holds Victor in his arms, telling him that he’ll be okay. Victor explains via voice-over that this is his favorite part. He knows that his mark will feel great after saving a stranger from death, and he’ll keep Victor around because he thinks he’s his lucky charm. After another day of work, Victor goes to a mental hospital to visit his mother. He has to go through a series of doors in order to get to where his mother is. The elderly women patients come up to Victor, always thinking that he’s someone else. He pretends to be whoever they say he is so that they will leave him alone. All the patients also wear tags around their wrists, so if they try to open a door a scanner will read their tags and deny them. We also see that Victor has had sex with the majority of the staff at the hospital. As he walks with a nurse down a hall, he looks into a room and sees Dr. Paige Marshall (Kelly Macdonald) tending to a patient. They both look at each other, and Victor knows that she will ruin everything for him. Victor sees his mother Ida (Angelica Huston), who keeps thinking he’s a dead lawyer. She has refused to eat anything until she sees her son. Knowing that she doesn’t recognize him, Victor just pretends to be dead lawyer Fred and goes with the flow. Ida says that Victor hasn’t visited her in years and doesn’t care for her. Victor says that he does care about her, and he even dropped out of medical school so that he could put her in the fancy mental hospital.
As Victor leaves Ida’s room, we see a flashback of Ida walking young Victor around a park, teaching him about what different call signs mean. Victor snaps back to the present when Paige approaches him. He introduces himself and says that Ida is getting worse, since she no longer recognizes him. Paige tells him that maybe they should look into a couple of choices, due to Ida’s declining health. Before she can elaborate, a nurse calls Paige to a room. Victor asks her out, but she turns him down. While Victor goes over the hospital bills, Denny masturbates to a picture of Ida on his wall. Victor gets him to stop and tells him to make himself useful by reading his mail to him. Denny reads a letter that Victor got from the man who saved him in the restaurant. The man has sent money to Victor, hoping that he’ll get well. Even though he sent cash, Victor is still short for the hospital bills. He goes to the head nun of the hospital and pleads with her to allow Ida to stay, but she gets ready to have her transported somewhere else. Victor is forced to sign over his paycheck from the park over to the hospital. He then tries to get Ida to eat something while they sit on a bench outside, but she still refuses (and thinks that he’s a dead lawyer). She says that she has to tell Victor the truth about his father, and hopes that he’ll visit her. She lied to him about his father, telling him that he was a traveling salesman who abandoned them long ago. Victor tries to coerce the real information out of her, but Ida says that she’ll only tell her son. Paige comes around and tells Ida that it’s time to go back inside. After Ida goes back to her room, Paige says that due to Ida getting worse, the hospital staff is considering moving her to the second floor. Victor doesn’t want that to happen and gets upset (since the second floor is where the patients go to die). He asks Paige if they tried a different number of medicines, but Paige says that there’s nothing she can do. Victor then tries to seduce her again, and Paige tells him that he doesn’t need to try to have sex with her. She tells Victor that he’s just upset about Ida dying soon, and having sex with her won’t make him happy. She also sees that Victor is missing a little bit of his ear. He says that when he was young, he was mauled by a lynx. She realizes that Victor lies a lot.
Victor and Denny hang out at the park, and Victor says that he wants to sleep with Ida’s doctor. Denny can’t believe it, but Victor says that he wants to have sex with her out of revenge, since she was able to perfectly describe him when they met. Victor is determined to know the truth about his father. He knows that Ida will only tell her son, but she can’t recognize him, even though he frequently visits her. He gets Denny to go with him to the hospital, and has Denny pose as him. Victor introduces Denny as her son. At first she doesn’t believe him, but soon she starts to warm up to Denny. Victor tries to get Ida to tell Denny who his father is, but they both send him away. Victor walks off, and he gets a note from a patient. It’s from Paige, who is in the chapel of the hospital. She tells Victor that there might be a way of saving Ida, but it’s illegal and dangerous. She needs Victor’s embryonic tissue, and wants him to have sex with her so she can get it. Paige starts to undress and says that she’ll do this for Ida, since he admires her a lot. It turns out that Victor wasn’t able to get it up. Denny laughs about it while shoveling hay at the park, and Victor says that it’s because she wanted to have sex in the chapel, and he felt like Jesus was looking at him. Denny shows Victor a newspaper clipping about something when Ursula sees it. It’s a violation of the park rules, and she tells Charlie that Denny has broken character again. Victor and Denny run away, and Charlie chases them into a barn. He asks them to hand over the newspaper, but they both play dumb. Eventually, he finds it hidden in crap and has Denny taken away to be judged by the employee council. As Denny is being led away, he tells Victor that Ida didn’t tell him anything about his father. All she wanted to do was hang out. However, he found out that she has written down the truth about his father in her diary, and it should be at Victor’s house. Victor goes home and finds the diary, but is pissed when he sees that it’s written in Italian (and he can’t read it).
Victor goes back to the hospital and has another failed sex attempt with Paige in the chapel. He gives her the diary and she says that she’ll translate it for him. Another flashback shows Ida and Victor sitting on a bench in a park. Victor wants to play in the playground and act like a normal kid, but Ida refuses to let him. She has Victor stay put and eat by himself. Somewhere along here Victor and Denny go to a strip club. A slow-dancing stripper named Cherry Daquiri (Gillian Jacobs) dances for them, but stops when Victor tells her that she should check out the mole on her stomach because it might lead to cancer. Denny has been drawing Cherry, and shows Victor, who thinks that he sucks. Cherry asks Denny to show her his drawing. She likes it, and takes off her bra. As she dances topless, Denny becomes entranced with her. Victor takes off by himself to another restaurant. This time there’s only one other customer, and so he will become his mark. He pretends to choke on his food, and he staggers over to the man. The man remains completely oblivious to Victor, and that’s when he sees that the man is blind. Victor starts to choke for real and finds that the restaurant employee has disappeared. He throws himself on a chair, causing him to cough out the food. Victor falls to the floor, but is fine. Victor also goes back to the sex addict support group, but winds up having sex with one of the members instead of trying to get help.
Victor goes back to the hospital and Paige says that she has translated Ida’s diary. She says that Ida’s grasp on reality broke much earlier than they thought, and tells Victor that there was a passage in the diary on how he was conceived. Many years ago, there were five or six religious relics on display in Rome. Ida stole one of them and impregnated herself with sacred foreskin that was still on the relic. Victor is therefore kind of a clone/son of Jesus Christ. Victor can’t believe it. He takes Paige back into the chapel and tries to have sex with her, but fails (especially with a crucifix looking down at him). Paige asks Victor why he can have sex with everyone else but her. He says that he might want to like her instead of having meaningless sex with her. During this time, Victor has another flashback about the time he and Ida broke into a zoo after hours. Ida’s plan was to release the animals from the cages. She released a lynx, and it mauled Victor’s ear.
Victor has anal beads put in his butt by Nico in the bathroom of the support group. However, when she pulls them back out, they find that one of the beads broke off and is stuck in his butt. At the park, Victor is pissed at Ursula for ratting on Denny’s newspaper. Denny loses his job and moves in with Victor. He continues to visit Cherry at work, which pisses Victor off since he feels abandoned. Denny also says that Cherry, aka Beth, is going to be moving in with them. Victor goes back home and looks at internet sex ads. He wonders what Jesus would not do, and he comes across a picture of a woman’s bruised butt. He meets up with Gwen (Heather Burns) at a restaurant, and she hands him a knife. Gwen would like Victor to sneak into her apartment and rape her. She tells him what the safe word will be, and tells him to put panty hose on his head. That night, Gwen takes a shower and is grabbed from behind by Victor. She’s specific about not getting raped on the bed, and she has set up a towel on the floor to have sex on. She tells Victor what to do, but he’s horrible at role-playing (and he used her panty hose as a mask instead of buying his own). She wants him to hit her, and he winds up smacking her head, which pisses her off. Gwen masturbates with an electric dildo while she has Victor hold the knife to her throat. He’s confused though about how he’s going to get off, since she’s using the dildo. She tells him to jerk off, but not to come on the bed. Victor masturbates and ejaculates on the bed just to piss her off.
Victor and Denny walk around to collect rocks (it’s Denny’s hobby). Victor tells him about how he’s the clone/son of Jesus, which makes him laugh. After collecting rocks in a baby stroller, they go to an empty lot that was left to Denny when his uncle died. He’s going to start putting his rocks in the lot. When Victor goes back to the hospital, he finds that Ida has been moved to the second floor, which upsets him. Paige starts to act differently around him. She says that she researched about the relics, and it’s true. One of them did go missing, and so Victor probably really is the clone/son of Jesus. She says that they shouldn’t see each other anymore, and now all the patients think Victor is the second coming of Christ. Cherry has moved into Victor’s house with Denny, and they spend their free time stacking rocks in the empty lot. Victor helps out and is interviewed on the news. None of them know what they are building, but they’ll find out soon enough. Denny also urges Victor to go back to the support group, since he hasn’t been showing up lately.
Victor goes to the hospital to visit Ida and has another flashback. While eating in a diner after the mauling, Ida snorts some drugs. Victor says that he just wants to be normal like everyone else. She tells him to stop thinking like that and finish his food. As Victor drinks his milk, he sees a missing person’s ad for himself on the carton. He tries to show the waitress his picture, but she remains oblivious to it. To get attention, Victor chokes on his food and has to be rescued by the diner patrons. Afterwards, they finally see the missing person’s ad, which causes Ida to hurry Victor out the door. Back in the present, Paige apologizes for how she reacted earlier. Victor brings her into a locker room and says that he’ll have sex with her, but Paige says that it’s too late. A group of patients walk into the room and proclaim Victor as the second coming. He insults everyone and says that he’s a bad person, but they just clap for him. He even grabs someone’s walker and smashes it against a locker, but they cheer louder. Frustrated, Victor leaves but Paige says that she loves him, and if he feels the same way he should say something right then. Victor remains silent, which hurts Paige. She walks away, and Ida scolds Victor for what he did. Paige bared her soul to him, and he turned her down. She asks him how he got so cold, and he blames her for raising him to be emotionally dead.
Victor has become depressed at work due to being alone, and Ursula apologizes for getting Denny fired. She says that she’ll do anything to cheer Victor up. He takes her to the barn and has her give him a hand job. He doesn’t ejaculate though, and soon Ursula grows tired of jerking him off. She rests her head on his chest while continuing, and she says that she likes Charlie but always falls for assholes like Victor. Ursula winds up falling asleep, and Charlie walks into the barn. Victor tells him that it’s not what it looks like, but Charlie points out that his penis is still in Ursula’s hand. He gets incredibly upset, but Victor calms him down so that he won’t wake Ursula. He then says that she is crazy about him, and he knows Charlie likes her back, so he should just leave the barn and forget what he saw so that he can give her a real shot at a relationship. Charlie agrees and leaves the barn. Another flashback shows Ida and Victor driving in a stolen bus. Victor knows they are lost, but Ida tells him that it doesn’t matter. They are frontiers, and they don’t need a map. Ida has Victor sit on her lap and teaches him to drive the bus. Victor goes back to the therapy group for sex addicts, but Nico holds him back and tries to have sex with him. Victor finally breaks free and sits down with the group, which makes Nico storm off. The leader asks him to recall why he is here. Victor has a flashback to when he was older. He’s on an airplane and opens the bathroom door, only to find a woman sitting completely naked on the toilet. He apologizes for walking in and leaves. Through the door, she says that its okay, since she left the door unlocked for a reason. Victor enters again, and she takes off his shirt. They have sex in the bathroom, and the woman tells him that it was just a fling.
Feeling better, Victor visits Ida again in the hospital. He feeds her chocolate pudding, and she finally recognizes him. She wants to tell him about how he was conceived, but he says that he already knows about the foreskin from the relic. Ida is baffled, and tells him that he’s mistaken. The truth is that Ida kidnapped Victor when he was in a stroller and raised him as her son. Victor, shocked, can’t believe it and continues to feed Ida. She chokes to death on the pudding. Victor calls for help, and Paige enters the room. He says that he accidentally gave her too much pudding. She tries CPR to save Ida, but it’s no good. Ida’s dead, and that’s when Victor sees that Paige is wearing a patient tag around her wrist. This whole time Paige was a patient, not a doctor. She explains that for twenty years, she was an excellent student with excellent grades. One day, she got a B- and she totally shut down. She spent three days in the shower before she was found. While she was in the hospital, Ida visited her and gave her a doctor’s coat to wear. The doctors allowed her to keep wearing it. Ida talked a lot about Victor, and how wonderful he was. When Paige finally met Victor, she wanted to get to know him, so she pretended to be Ida’s doctor. Even though she had lied to Victor about mostly everything, she says that she didn’t lie about loving him. Tearfully, Victor leaves her at the hospital.
Later on, Victor is arrested at the park for rape. He thinks it’s because of what happened with Gwen, but they say a daughter of one of the patients believed her demented mother when she said that Victor inappropriately touched her (Victor pretended to be the patient’s brother earlier, who was the one that molested her). As they take Victor away, he sees that Charlie and Ursula are together. At the police station, the detectives question him about Ida’s death. They think he killed her on purpose, but he says that he didn’t. He tells them to ask Paige, but they say that she has checked herself out of the hospital since she was voluntarily there. They ask Victor why there’s spray paint on a map in his possession, and he says that it was Ida who did that. Another flashback shows that Ida spray painted Victor’s shadow on the map so that she would remember how he looked before they were separated. Cops show up and though Ida tries to fight them off, she is arrested. Victor starts to choke for real in the police station, and one of the detectives saves him. Victor coughs up the rogue anal bead and craps all over his chair from indigestion. Next, we see Victor on an airplane. He goes to the bathroom and undresses. A woman opens the door and finds him sitting naked on the toilet. She enters, and it turns out to be Paige. The film ends with Victor and Paige having sex in the airplane bathroom.