BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY
NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by oddtree
It's Christmas Eve and Bridget Jones is going to her mom's house for her annual Turkey Curry Buffet. She hates it because these old men grope her, and people always ask about her sex life, and because her mother and her mother's friend Una always try to hook her up with problematic men. She arrives, and all of the above that she has been dreading happens. The new man, whom she sees from the back, is Mark Darcy (Colin Firth), a "top family-law barrister"; he is wearing a green sweater and gray pants, and finally she thinks her mother has found her a normal man when he turns around and it is revealed that on the front of his green sweater is a large, grinning cartoon reindeer. They have conversation, in which Bridget babbles and in which Colin Firth is repelled by this crazy idiot. She goes home, is depressed by her old age (32) and her single state, and has a night where she wakes up absolutely smashed. So she decides to start a diary, and declare an embargo against men with issues.
But Bridget is in love with her boss, Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant), the biggest emotional fuckwit of them all. They flirt a lot, exchange e-mails about Bridget's wardrobe, and it is at a book launch party (including cameos from--- yes!--- Rushdie and Jeffrey Archer and a hilarious stumbling speech) when the sparks finally ignite a flame and Bridget and Hugh Grant embark on an affair. Well, Colin Firth is at this party too, with his girlfriend (another lawyer) Natasha, and he seems interested in Bridget but Hugh Grant gets to her first. Then, Hugh Grant tells Bridget of the animosity between him and Colin Firth -- they went to school together and he was best man at Colin Firth's wedding, but later on Colin Firth seduced/stole Hugh Grant's fiancee.
So Bridget and Hugh Grant have their thing, but he is always reluctant to commit. Bridget's mom, unsatisfied with her long marriage with Bridget's father, leaves him for Julio-- a purse carrying, often orangish man who sells jewelry on those cable home-buying channels. Bridget and Hugh Grant goes away for a weekend, and who would be there at the countryside hotel but Colin Firth and Natasha-- and there is a boat rowing scene in which Hugh Grant and Bridget goof around while Colin Firth watches on, with an envious yet slightly condescending look and Natasha drone on about figures and data.
One night, Bridget tells Hugh Grant she loves him and the next morning he says he has to leave and can't take her to the tarts and vicars party they were suppose to go to. So Bridget goes alone-- it is a party where the men dresses as vicars (i.e., clergy) and the women dress as... well, tarts (don't know the motive, though)-- and she is the only woman with a playboy bunny suit on. It seems like the tarts and vicars theme has been canceled, but Bridget hadn't received the message. Colin Firth and Natasha are again there, but Bridget brazens it out. She talks to her desolate father who is upset at his wife's desertion, and goes to see Hugh Grant at his loft.
She sees a woman's cardigan on Hugh Grant's coat rack, and finds a woman sitting naked in his bathroom. She leaves, and the next day Hugh Grant tells her that he is still looking for that elusive something, but he thinks he has found it in the other woman, a New Yorkan whom he had worked (and is still working) with.
She starts looking for a new job, mainly in television-- and through several heinous job interviews she finds one at Wake Up Britain. She quits her old job in one satisfying scene in which she tells off Hugh Grant, and goes to her new job and has a fiasco at a fire station in which she comes down the pole but the camera is right underneath her, so she slams into the camera and on the screen it’s just Bridget’s butt zooming up.
She is invited to dinner with the Smug Marrieds, people who are all paired off and it is a party where Bridget is the only singleton-- Colin Firth and Natasha are again there. She is uncomfortable and makes a foolish comment, and when she leaves Colin Firth goes after her and tells her that he likes her a lot, just as she is, but he has to go when Natasha calls him. Bridget dissects his words with her three best friends (Sharon, Jude, and Tom) but she doesn’t do anything.
Then it is another television reporting job, this one about a foreign man who is wanted in his native country for some political crime (but apparently the man is a good guy) and about the situation of extradition. But Bridget goes to buy cigarettes and discovers that somehow the guy she wants to interview has snuck out due to all the press waiting; but then, Colin Firth is behind her in line and he gets her an exclusive because the man is his client. They exchange soulful looks and Bridget realizes she is interested.
It is then her birthday, and she is making dinner but it all turns out to be a huge disaster because Bridget isn’t the culinary expert she thought she was. Colin Firth shows up, and helps her even though the soup has turned blue and the other courses are all ruined. Bridget’s three friends come over, and celebrate her birthday but then Hugh Grant shows up, drunk and apologetic. Colin Firth is angry and leaves when he sees them having an almost-kiss, but then comes back and demands that Hugh Grant meet him outside. They have a hilarious fight, taking it into a restaurant across the street and then back outside; Hugh Grant is finally knocked out and Colin Firth is left standing. But Bridget goes to Hugh Grant instead and accuses Colin Firth of also being insane; he leaves, and Hugh Grant thinks that they are going to be together. But she tells Hugh Grant that she is also searching for that something and it’s not him.
It’s Christmas again and Bridget is at home, watching her mother and Julio on the shopping network. They make fun of Julio but when the show ends, Bridget’s mom comes in; she makes up with Bridget’s father and the two hug and kiss. The next morning they have to go to the elder Darcy’s (Colin Firth’s parents) Ruby Wedding Anniversary, but Bridget refuses to go until her mother let drop that Colin Firth’s ex-wife had cheated on him with the best man, Colin Firth’s friend at Cambridge and it is then that Bridget realizes Hugh Grant had lied and that she does love him. So she goes, and tells Colin Firth that she likes him too, but he is called back into the main room and the Darcys give a speech on how happy they are that Colin Firth is going to be made a senior partner at a New York firm and that his partner in law, Natasha, is also going and they hope that she will also become another kind of in-law soon. Bridget blurts out another one of her embarrassing speeches, and goes home.
It is maybe a few days later, and her friends arrive to take her to a surprise trip to Paris. She is locking her door when Colin Firth arrives, and Bridget ditches Paris to be with Colin Firth. They are upstairs and Colin Firth wants to get it on, but Bridget remember the previous underwear fiasco with Hugh Grant and goes to her room to change into more romantic lingerie. But she has left her diary and Colin Firth sees it, and pages through it to see several passages in which Bridget wrote that she hated him and that he is dull and boring and no wonder his wife left him. Bridget comes out to hear the door slam and the room empty, and she sees Colin Firth striding away in the snow. She chases after him, only wearing a t-shirt, leopard striped undies, and running shoes; she catches up to him when he is coming out of a store and tells him that the diary is foolish and that she loves him. In her tirade, he is silent; but then he says, I know and pulls out a new diary from his coat pocket. He bought her a new diary for her to start over. They kiss while several scandalized people look on at Bridget’s nakedness, and Colin Firth wraps her up in his coat.