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BALLISTIC: Ecks vs Sever

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NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by ddmeyer who says... This movie's terrible. Just mind-numbingly terrible.

The film opens up with Vinn (Talisa Soto) driving her son home from the airport. Several black Suburbans pull up and flank her as she stops. They tell her that her husband, Robert Gant (Gregg Henry), wants them to take the boy. She balks at this and calls him on her cell phone to complain and when she looks up, they've taken him and driven off.

As the Suburban with the boy puts distance between them and Vinn, the vehicles in front of them suddenly explode. All of the bodyguards get out of the remaining Suburban and circle the vehicle, protecting the boy from whoever is out there.

Someone unseen detonates a smoke grenade and visibility is suddenly very low. This is Agent Sever (Lucy Liu). With the bodyguards confused and separated, she charges each of them individually, subdues them, and takes the boy with her.

Later, Gant finds his men who failed him and orders one to kill himself. See, that's how we know he's evil.

The next day, former Agent Ecks (Antonio Banderas) is sitting in a bar, morose, and smoking a cigarette. Two generic agents come in and tell him that he's needed back on the job. He tells them "no". His former boss Julio (Miguel Sandoval) then enters the bar and attempts to persuade him. Julio tells him that he has information regarding the whereabouts of Ecks's wife, who has been thought to be dead for seven years. Ecks reluctantly returns to his post.

The job is complicated: Gant has stolen a micro-robot assassin. It is capable of being injected into the blood stream and instructed to trigger cardiac arrest and strokes. No one knows where it is but it is suspected that Sever possesses it in Vancouver, Canada. The reality, we learn is that Gant is using his son as a mule. The assassin is dormant in the boy's wrist. Ecks is sent to track Sever and the micro-robot down.

In Vancouver, Gant's men have set up snipers on several rooftops and are waiting for Sever. Here's what happens: they spot her in a public plaza and start shooting. They keep missing and the local police are called in. Sever, utilizing the basic Hollywood principle whereby antagonists can't shoot their way out of a paper sack and protagonists are dead- accurate, slaughters most of them. She also shoots Julio.

Ecks arrives on the scene and runs to Julio, who whispers to him that Sever knows where Ecks's wife is. Ecks chases Sever. (Get it?! Ecks vs. Sever!) They scuffle, fistfight, and shoot at each other for a bit, but when Gant's men start shooting at them both, they form an alliance. As they part, Sever tosses him an address with the location of his wife.

In flashback, we learn that Ecks and Vinn were married and Gant was their friend. But he betrayed Ecks and through two car bombs, made Ecks and Vinn believe the other to be dead. We also learn, through flashback and a few snippets of conversation, that Sever had a child and a husband but they were both killed by Gant because in forming a personal life, she was "stepping out of profile".

At Vinn and Gant's home, Vinn wants to know what Gant is doing about the abduction of their son, he is ambivalent, making idle promises to her while conferring with his subordinates about how to recover the assassin.

Upset, she leaves the house and goes to an aquarium for some time alone. But Ecks has followed her there. They reunite and she pitches him the standard romance schlock about how he was the only man for her. She also tells him, though, that the boy isn't Gant's, it's his.

The two of them find Sever. "Is this the bitch who took my child," asks Vinn. "I'm the bitch who's protecting him," replies Sever. The three of them goes to Sever's hideout, a combination abandoned rail yard and smoke and flame factory. They are followed there by Gant and his men. Sever and Ecks send Vinn and the boy up to a safer hiding space and prepare for battle.

To summarize the battle, lots of crap explodes, none of Gant's men can aim, while Ecks and Sever can kill twenty men with one bullet. It comes down to Gant's right-hand man and Sever. Sever dispatches him in a cute little martial-arts fight by breaking his neck.

As they're all feeling safe, Gant appears with a gun and brings down Vinn and the boy. He scans the child's wrist and finds out that the assassin is gone. He whirls to Sever and demands its location. In a quick movement she fires a projectile at him, knocking the gun out of his hand. "Is that the best you can do," he asks. "No. *loooong-ace dramatic pause* This is."

She presses a button on a remote and Gant is plunged into cardiac arrest. He dies.

Ecks and Sever exchange last words on the top of an oil rig in a bay later on. He looks away for a second and when he turns back, she's gone. Fade to black.


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