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Notting
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The Mask
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High
Fidelity


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AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS

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A storybook opens to start America's Sweethearts. Billy Crystal is Hollywood type guy. He and producer (Stanley Tucci) are viewing a film starring America's leading male and female, John Cusack and Catherine Zeta-Jones. The only problem is the movie is only 1 minute long and the couple that loved each other on screen and off have broken up.

Tucci begs Crystal to get them back together before the big screening, and to make sure the film is done! Crystal plans to get them together for a press junket and pre-screening showing of their new film.

Now we flash to Jones, who is stuck up actress and can't do anything for herself. Her sister Julia Roberts is always by Jones's side like a maid. Jones goes on Larry King to explain her new film, but all the callers want to hear about why she broke up with Cusack and is living with a new Spanish lover (Hank Azaria).

Now, we flash to John Cusack who is in an Indian therapy home, he is having a nervous breakdown because he still loves Jones. Crystal shows up there and convinces him he can see Jones again at this big screening. Crystal has to force the public to believe Jones and Cusack are still together or else the movie will bomb.

Crystal goes to Jones's house and tries to get her to come to the screening. She doesn't want to be around Cusack, because earlier in the film he almost killed her and Azaria by driving his motorcycle through a restaurant they were eating at. Crystal says this is a good way to get the public to love you again, since the callers on Larry King were so mean to her, Jones agrees.

Now, we are at the hotel where all the press is, as are Jones and Cusack.

Cusack sneaks out his room to get a look a Jones. He climbs over a wall, and THINKS he sees her by the pool, but then he falls off the wall into a cactus. While he tries to get the thorns out of his leg, the hotel camera films him and it looks like he is masturbating. The hotel security comes to arrest him. Crystal shows up and pleads with the guards to give him the tape and forget about it. They do, but the tape gets on the news anyway.

Jones feels bad for him after she sees the tape on the news. She sends Roberts to get Cusack to meet with her. Roberts goes to Cusack, but before she enters his room she has a flashback. Roberts is about 60 pounds heavier in the flashback. Then it flashes forward and she is talking to Cusack. He agrees to meet Jones.

Cusack gets in a car with Jones, she is very mean to him, he gets out of the car mad. But, someone filmed them while they were in the car and it looks like they are kissing. That tape is on the news too, and Azaria sees it, gets mad, and heads to the desert hotel.

Next, Crystal sets up a dinner before the big premiere of the film, but Jones doesn't want to meet Cusack. Roberts goes in her place.

Crystal calls Jones from the restaurant and make her jealous, so she shows up too. Jones tells Roberts to go away. Then Azaria shows up too. He wants to beat up Cusack, they fight and Azaria hits Cusack with a tray.

Next scene, Cusack has a swollen eye and Roberts is comforting him. They start kissing and end up sleeping together. In the morning, they have breakfast. Jones calls Cusack, she feels bad that he got hit and wants to talk. Jones is actually going to give him the divorce papers, but she wants to be nice about it, because she is so selfish, and she wants everyone to love her still. Cusack runs to her, which makes Roberts mad, because they had something going.

Cusack and Jones start talking like friends again. Roberts is so mad at the both of them, because she loves Cusack and she knows Jones is just using him for self-gain. Roberts can't take anymore of their talking. She tells her sister off, and then pours eggs on Cusack.

Finally, the big day comes, all the press is there and they are waiting for the director to show up with the film. Cusack tries to tell Roberts he is sorry, and Roberts tells him it was HER he saw that night over the wall not Jones.

Cusack goes up to the roof and it looks like he is committing suicide. The press and producers are all looking up at him in shock. Crystal goes up to the roof to get Cusack. He gets him off the ledge after almost pushing him over (funny). Crystal convinces Cusack that he actually loves Roberts, not Jones.

Now everyone is at the premiere and finally the director (Christopher Walken) and the movie show up. Walken is a crazy looking man with long hair. They roll the film and discover it's not what they thought it was. Walken made a few changes making it his most personal film ever. It is a film of hidden cameras. It shows, Jones as a total jerk and the true colors of everyone on the set. The film stops, Jones is mad and is going to call her lawyer for this stupid movie that makes her look bad.

Jones tries to comfort the press and look good again just for herself by saying to the press that her and Cusack will get back together, but Cusack says NO, because he says out loud that he is in love with Roberts. He says he was never in love with Jones but rather just in love with her character she plays. We also find that Azaria was cheating on Jones. Jones then turns the tables again and acts like she is the victim.

Everyone gets the publicity they want, the press likes the film, and Cusack and Roberts kiss, because they really do love each other.
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