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SPOILER ARCHIVE
AMERICAN WEDDING

movie trailer (apple.com - quicktime)

NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by Alucard who says... "This is a great film, but I can't get over the fact that Oz, Vicki, and Heather from the first two films seemed to have been just lifted out of the script. I guess they couldn't get them back for this third installment but it felt kinda empty without them. Oh well, here's the spoiler."

The movie opens in a lavish restaurant, where Jim is going to ask his girlfriend of three years, Michelle, to marry him. While trying to think of the best way to phrase the question, Jim leads her to believe that he wants to have a more kinky relationship, which Michelle agrees to. During this, Jim recieves a phone call from his father, who tells him that he forgot the engagement ring. Jim starts to get upset, but his dad is on the way with it and tells him not to panic. While this is going on, Michelle heads under the table where they are at and unzippers his pants and starts to "pleasure" (i'll keep this as G rated as I can) him. Jim pleads with her to stop, but he fails. His dad then arrives and says some really funny things (you really blew the wad, etc) and takes a seat at the table, unaware that Michelle is underneath. He sees Jim panicing, so he tells Jim to come outside with him and he pulls Jim away from the table, only to reveal that his pants are completely down and it makes a huge scene in front of everyone. Michelle then emerges from under the table, and Jim finally gains enough confidence and asks her to marry him, she instantly says yes and they hug. Jim then gets rather "exicted" as the scene ends...

The next scene is at Jim and Michelle's engagement party, which is being hosted at Jim's house. Along for the ride are Kevin and Finch, Jim's best friends (with Oz noticably missing). Jim's parents are hosting and are egaerly awaiting the arrival of Michelle's parents. During this period, Jim, Michelle and company all agree that Stifler (that loveable asshole from the first two movies) should not be invited to the wedding. However, during this, We see Stifler drive up to Jim's house in a school bus, and he sees the festivities going on there, which leads him to only one thought: crash the party. Michelle's parents arrive first though, and are greeted by Jim's parents at the door. Stifler sneaks his way into the house shortly after and starts messing with a cake he finds. During this, Michelle's parents ask Jim's father to let their two dogs into the house, which he does. Jim goes into the dining room and finds Stifler crashing the party. Before he can tell him to leave, Stifler drops the cake all over his and Jim's pants (the crotch areas). Jim quickly closes the dining room doors before the guests notice. Panicing, Jim takes off his pants, while Stifler is knocked to the ground by one of Michelle's Parents's dogs. The dog starts licking the cake off Stifler's crotch, while Stifler is lying on the floor enjoying every minute of it. Jim tries desperately to throw the dog off Stifler, but it puts him in an even worse position (him standing behind the dog with his pants down). The Parents's other dog, a smaller dog then comes in and starts to get in the middle of the scene, when Jim's parents open the dining room doors, revealing the nasty picture to the party guests. Michelle's parents grow very uneasy about their daughter marrying Jim now, but the wedding will go on as planned.

After the whole party disaster, Michelle and Jim have a sit down talk. Michelle tells Jim that at the wedding, she would like to have her and Jim dancing together. Jim agrees, but is clueless on how to go about this.

The next scene has Jim going back to his old high school to confront Stifler (who is working as an assistant football coach) and tell him that he can't go to the wedding. After he yells at Stifler and tells him that he can't go, Stifler tells him that he can teach Jim how to dance. Jim takes everything back and allows him to go in exchange for dance lessons. The two of them then go waltz in the gym, Stifler explaining that his mom made him do this for years.

During this, Finch is spying on Michelle, and he finds out that she needs a custom made dress, but can only get it by a special designer in Chicago. Finch rallies up the troops and tells them that if they go to Chicago and get the dress, it could lead Jim into good graces with Michelle's parents. They decide to take the trip to the Windy city, when who decides to come along? that's right, Stifler.

Once the gang gets to Chicago, they head to the store that the desinger (named Leslie Summers) works at. After finding out that the designer left for the day, they decide to split up and look in some bars that the clerk said that the designer might be at. Stifler, who's only looking for sex strolls into a random bar and finds a pretty girl. After hitting on her, she tells him that she wants him to meet a friend of hers, and he agrees. She leaves to go get him, while the male bartender tells him that he's "cute" (the audience then sees some random shots of guys making out with one another). When the girl returns, she brings back her friend, who turns out to be a big buff guy named "Bear". Stifler then insults them, but they turn the tables on him and make a fool out of him. Jim, Kevin and Finch then storm into the bar and yell at Stifler for not doing his job, and mention the designer's name (Leslie Summers). Bear and the girl then announce that they know who that is, but they refuse to help out Jim because of Stifler's behavior. Just then, the dance floor clears, and Stifler puts on a dnace show that wows the crowd (this is a very stange and drawn out scene). Bear, thinking that he has been challenged to a dance off, joins in. The two of them go dancing about and Stifler impresses Bear and the rest of the crowd. After the dance, Jim and the gang finally meet Leslie (who turns out to be a man) and he agrees to make them the dress.

Back at home, they announce that they will be able to get Michelle's dress made, which makes the parents's opinions a little bit better on Jim. Wanting to get in full good grance with the two however, Jim tells them that he will invite them to a special dinner and have a long talk with them about why he will be a good husband.
During this, Finch accompanies Michelle to the airport to pick up Michelle's sister, Cadence. Cadence comes in, and instantly attracts Finch's eye. The two of them (Michelle and Cadence) then hug, and go off to talk about girl stuff which they keep Finch out of. Finch evesdrops on them however, and finds out Cadence just brok up with her boyfriend and she's interested in finding a single guy at the wedding. Finch instantly fills with glee.

The next scene is back at Jim's house, where Jim and Stifler are discussing the next time they will meet to dance and whatnot. In the next room down, Cadence and Michelle are talking about dresses, and Cadence also instantly attract's Stifler's eye (this leads to a long tug of war between Finch and Stifler, who oddly trade personalities in order to attract Cadence in their own ideas). Throughout the next scenes, Stifler pretends to be all goody goody in front of Michelle's parents and Cadence, instantly attracting her. Finch realizes what Stifler is doing and is outraged, but has a few tricks of his own up his sleeve. In the next time they meet, Finch comes out very blunt and starts throwing out random profanities, and Cadence likes what she sees in Finch. Stilfer sees what he is doing and is outraged, but still remains on his goody goody behavior to win over her parents.

At the next dance rehersal that Stifler and Jim have, Jim tells him a day that Jim's parents and Michelle's parents and Michelle and Cadence will be away. Stifler then takes this oppurtunity to call his friend Bear, who promised him good women for a bachelor party. He then teams up with Kevin and Finch, and leads bear, with two stippers (A French maid and a police officer) into Jim's empty house. They instantly begin the festivitives, which winds up with Kevin being tied to a chair by the police officer and the maid telling Finch to pour something all over himself so she can lick it off. Finch goes into the kitchen and pours chocolate syrup all over himself when he discovers that a turkey is cooking in the oven. The group then looks outside to see that Jim is coming home with Michelle's parents to have the dinner he promised them (he told Stifler that no one would be around as a diversion so he can take the opportunity to have his talk with Michelle's parents). They quickly panic and hide everything as Jim and Michelle's parents walk in.

The next scenes are hilarious, involving Bear posing as a butler for Jim to cover while Kevin (still in the chair), Stifler, and Finch all scurry for places to hide. Kevin goes in a closet, Stifler takes cover in window drapes, while Finch goes into a kitchen cabinet. The two strippers are hiding in the dining room with Michelle's parents's dogs. From here, everything goes wrong. Everyone emerges out of their hiding places and are discovered by Michelle's parents. The maid tries to pose as a cleaning woman, but instantly blows her cover by telling them that she left her broom in her fanny (don't ask). Finch tries to save the day by saying he's her boss and she's new to the customs of America and that when she said fanny, she actually meant car. Things go really bad when the parents find Kevin tied up in the closet and the police officer arrives out of the dining room. Stifler then emerges from the drapes and explains that the whole thing was a big plan to have Jim become a hero to become in good graces with the parents. The parents admire Jim's effort and finally allow him to marry Michelle in peace. The parents also take a keen liking to the new and improved goody goody Stifler (still putting on the act for them) and they allow him to hold onto the engaement ring that Jim will give Michelle.

The next part of the movie has all the guests head to the hotel/catering hall when the wedding will take place on the next day. Still nervous, Jim gets the idea that shaving his pubic hair will be a turn on during sex, so he finds an electric razor and goes about it. He then takes the pubic hair and tosses it out the window of the bathroom he was in. The pubic hair goes into the kitchen, not only going all over Jim and Michelle's mothers, but it also destroys the wedding cake. Jim aplogizes for the mishap, but it seems to quickly fade away.

During this, Stifler is with Cadence in a field watching the two dogs. Stifler throws the dogs treats and accidently throws the engagement ring with the treats. The little dog eats the treat and the ring. Before Stifler can notice the ring is gone, Cadence kisses him. Stilfer is overjoyed, but then realizes the fate of the ring. Stifler panics, and Cadence thinks she caused it when she kissed him and she runs off. Stifler is then forced to wait until the dogs go to the bathroom, but not before bragging to Finch about the kiss. Finch is annoyed, but is relishing in the fact that Stifler has to retrieve the ring. After the little dog goes to the bathroom, Stifler takes a napkin and scoops up the poop with the ring in it. While walking back to the hotel, he runs into Michelle's parents. They talk about what a good boy he is and ask for the engagement ring. Stifler tells them that he left in in his room. As he tries to run away, Michelle's mother spots the poop napkin in his hand and asks what it is. Stifler tells her its a truffle, and they get into a big tug of war over it because she wants to eat the truffle (which is actually the poop with the ring in it). She takes it and is about to put it into her mouth when Stifler snatches it and puts the poop in his mouth (very nasty scene). He then runs off with a very brown smile...

Back at the hotel, Jim's dad is taking in his mother (Jim's grandmother) who seemes very disoriented about the whole wedding. She disapproves of it because Michelle is not jewish and she creates a huge scene. Jim tells Michelle that everything will be ok and not to worry. During this, Cadence finds Stifler and tells him she wants to have sex with him and to meet her in a closet at a certain time. Stifler runs off, happy as a pig in mud. Everything seems to finally be going smoothly until Stifler messes around with some switches in a hallway, only having sex with Cadence on his mind. Finch then finds Stifler and confronts him. Stifler explains that he is going to have sex with Cadence and does so in a very graphic way. Cadence is right behind him and hears it all, and she calls him a jerk and runs off. Stifler's night is ruined, much to Finch's advantage.

In the meantime, Jim is hacing a talk with Kevin about how everything is so stressful and whatnot. Kevin tells him that everything will work out and not to worry, when a catering worker comes up to him and tells him there is a problem. It seems that when Stifler messed around with the switches, he turned up the heat, and destroyed the flowers that were going to be used for the wedding the next day. Jim tells Stifler to leave, and he runs off. The next few scenes show Michelle and Jim walking around in a very disoriented manner, but they still seem sure that it will turn out alright.
During this, Stifler wakes up the woman who was in charge of the flower decorations and tells her what happened with the flowers and he needs help getting new ones. She tells him off, but then Stifler yells at her to "never quit during halftime". The woman then gets up and agrees to help.

The next morning, Jim and Michelle wake up to Stifler and his football team arranging the flower decoration and everything that Stifler destroyed was being fixed by Stifler. This is the first time Stifler has ever thought of anyone else but himself and it puts him back in good graces with everyone. Cadence even tells him that she'll have sex with him again. Finch decides to drop going after Cadence because if anyone really liked Stifler as a person, it really isn't worth it. Besides, he screwed Stifler's mom in the last two films. Before Stifler can get his way however, Jim announces that he wants to have a talk with his friends, and he thanks them for helping everything turn out alright in the end. Stilfer is mad that Jim is wasting his time because he just wants to have sex with Cadence. He runs off to the closet where they were going to meet and do it.

Meanwhile, the two milf kids (from the previous two films) are supposed to be watching the grandma, but instead don't want to deal with her and put her in the closet...

Stifler then goes into the closet and thinks he finds Cadence in there...which he obviously does not. He winds up having sex with Jim's grandma while Cadence gets caught up helping her mother with things on her way to the closet.

At the ceremony, we hear Michelle's vows (written with help from Jim's dad) and are also treated to some words between Stifler and Finch about them both screwing older women. They announce Michelle and Jim husband and wife, and they kiss.

At the party, Jim and Michelle dance perfectly, while Stifler and Cadence do as well. Finch goes off, and discovers.....you guessed it American Pie fans, STIFLER'S MOM! The two of them then scurry away to her hotel room.

The last scene of the movie shows the two of them going at it in a hot tub while the two milf kids watch them from outside a window, staring in awe.

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