*CUT TO THE CHASE*
NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy
The film opens on a campus tour of Bucknell University. Scott (Will Ferrell) and Kate Johansen (Amy Poehler) bring their daughter Alex (Ryan Simpkins) in the hopes that she gets in. A few weeks later, the family is gathered around Alex's laptop to read a letter from Bucknell. It's an acceptance letter. Everyone goes nuts.
Scott and Kate throw Alex a party for getting in. They later go to a town hall meeting to find out that the city council's director Bob Schaeffer (Nick Kroll) is spending the town's money on new pools and isn't giving Alex the scholarship she earned. Scott and Kate break the news to Alex, but they try to find other ways to make it up. They visit their accountant Dawn Mayweather (Allison Tolman), who tells them they do not have enough money to apply for a loan. Scott and Kate also can't get raises at their jobs.
The couple's friend, Frank Theodorakis (Jason Mantzoukas), is in the middle of an ugly break-up with his wife Raina (Michaela Watkins), and he is on the verge of losing his house. The only thing keeping his spirits up is an upcoming trip to Vegas with Scott and Kate. They try to tell him that they can't go, but Scott is unable to let his friend down. The three go to Vegas and hit a table where Frank starts gambling and winning money for the people around the table by rolling fours. Scott then stupidly tells Frank not to roll a seven, breaking his concentration and causing him to lose everyone's money.
When they get back home, Frank comes up with an idea. He decides to turn his house into a casino so that he and the Johansen's can earn enough money to keep Frank's house and for Alex to go to college, respectively. Although they know it's risky, Scott and Kate decide to go for it.
The three start rounding up their bored friends who need breaks from their lives. In order to avoid suspicion, they have the customers park at a grocery store after buying something there, and then sneaking around to get to Frank's house. The three then keep the money they make in five separate safes. Once all five are filled, they'll have the money they need for their goals.
Lots of people from around the neighborhood start coming around to Frank's house to try their hand at the games. Two men, Reggie (Cedric Yarbrough) and Garvey (Kyle Kinane), get into a fight, leading Frank to take bets from people on who would be the winner. The two guys get into the ring, but Reggie knocks Garvey out with one punch. Two women, Martha (Lennon Parham) and Laura (Andrea Savage), start arguing as they always do, so Kate has them step into the ring. Their fight is more violent as Laura lays into Martha, but they end up knocking each other out at the same time.
Scott and Kate go home wasted, not realizing Alex is upstairs in her room smoking weed with her friends. Her parents are too trashed to notice.
At the next town hall meeting, Bob notices that most people aren't there. He sees Laura there wearing shades, which he tells her to take off. She shows her black eye but doesn't say where she got it from. As Bob and Dawn wonder about this, we learn they are having an affair and that Bob wants Dawn to leave her husband.
Frank starts to make additions to the casino, which includes a pool, massage parlor, and strip club. This does cost them some more money, but Frank assures Scott that it's for the best.
One night, the three catch a guy named Carl (Steve Zissis) counting cards at the table. Frank convinces Scott and Kate that they need to take him and send a message to anyone else in case thy try to cheat. Scott and Frank pull Carl away from the table and bring him into their office where they tie him up to a chair. Carl isn't intimidated by them at all until they pull an axe off the wall. While the three fight over actually using the axe, Scott accidentally swings the axe down to sever Carl's middle finger, squirting blood everywhere.
Scott becomes traumatized by chopping off the finger, but Frank tells him that he's built up a new reputation as an intimidating person, and now people are paying money back since Frank extended lines of credit without telling Scott or Kate.
Bob recruits Officer Chandler (Rob Huebel) to find out where everyone is going. They find Frank's house and infiltrate the place. They find the room with the safe, as well as a combination number that Frank just happened to have written on the wall. They confiscate the money and force the three to shut the casino down.
As the three try to make their money back, they are visited by a mobster named Tommy (Jeremy Renner), who is Carl's boss. At the same time, Alex and her friends show up after receiving an invitation. Tommy attempts to kidnap Alex to get ransom money from Scott and Kate. After they trick Tommy's goons and get away from them, Scott gets an axe to chop off Tommy's arm since he was handcuffed to Alex. Kate comes out with a flamethrower and sets Tommy on fire. The others try to put it out but they make the fire worse until it eventually burns down Frank's whole house. Raina, having found out about the casino, suddenly reconciles with Frank and agrees to commit insurance fraud to get money back.
Scott and Kate confess everything to Alex since they had no money to send her to college. After hearing that Bob has their money, Alex suggests they go take it back. Chandler returns and basically tells them to go ahead and take the money back since he hates Bob.
The Johansens go to city hall and distract Bob by getting Chandler to tell him that the casino is still open. Bob gets suspicious and returns to city hall to find the three taking the money back. Bob attacks Scott and tries to get it back, but they outsmart Bob, Dawn ends their affair, Chandler comes to arrest him, and the family gets the money back.
At the end of the summer, Scott and Kate drop Alex off at Bucknell to begin her school year. As they leave, another dad is blocking their path. Scott and Kate get out and threaten him with an axe and torch, scaring the man away. They then drive away like maniacs.
Scott and Kate Johansen have no money to send their daughter Alex to college, so they team up with their equally broke and desperate friend Frank to open up a casino in Frank's house to earn a lot of money.
The friends get a lot of people from their neighborhood to participate. They get in trouble with a city council director named Bob Schaeffer, as well as some mobsters after one of their guys gets his finger chopped off at the casino. Despite all this, the Johansens keep their money and avoid jail time to send Alex to college.